Chapter 13

“You’re a dark horse.” Sidney looked up from tying his skate to see Max grinning down at him. Sidney thought about ignoring the comment, or even feigning ignorance, but decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.

“You wouldn’t understand, even if I explained it to you,” Sidney muttered, returning to his task and trying to ignore the way the small hairs on the back of his neck were standing up, telling him that everyone was watching him. The room was too quiet, way quieter than usual. He didn’t like it. Not one bit.

This was bad. He didn’t need anyone to tell him that. It was a cardinal rule. You didn’t fuck around with your teammate’s girl. It was a rule that, while unwritten, was practically inscribed in granite as far as rules went within the room and he’d broken it.

It wasn’t going to matter that he’d seen her first. Pretty close only worked with horseshoes and hand grenades. It wasn’t even going to matter that he’d slept with her first. He hadn’t put a claim on her. He should have, god knows, but he hadn’t.
Kris had called her his girlfriend and even though Sidney knew he could honestly claim he didn’t know that his Mya was Kris’s girlfriend, he also knew it wouldn’t matter to Kris or any of the other guys for that matter. As soon as he’d seen them together in the parking lot he should have put the keys back in his ignition and turned around. He should never have got out of the car. He should never have let her kiss him.

But he had and the rest, he thought grimly as he finished tying his skates. There would be no taking back what he’d done, not with Kris and not with Mya.

He’d screwed up. Badly. He knew it. He just didn’t know how to undo it.

“Whatever it is, the explanation, il devrait être bon,” Flower said quietly, his voice pitched so only Sidney could hear it, or at least normally that would be the case. Today, you could hear a sweat sock hit the floor and when Sidney glanced over at the young goaltender beside him, he caught Jordan nodding out of the corner of his eye.

“He’s right,” Jordan agreed without looking up from tugging on his socks. “There better be a fucking iron clad reason behind it.” Taking a deep breath, Sidney reached over and wrapped his hand around his stick.

“Is he here?” He didn’t need to say who. Both Jordy and Flower nodded. “Just promise me you’ll call 911 if there’s blood,” he muttered, pushing himself up to his feet and plodding out the door and down the hall, readying himself to face the music.
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“What part of the Fredericks catalogue has scarves?” Hannah asked, flipping the end of the scarf that Mya was tying around her neck to hide the angry red bite marks on her neck. Mya shot her a nasty look and continued to try to find some way to make the camouflage work.

“Are you going to just stand there and make sarcastic comments or are you going to help?” she snapped, tugging on the end of the scarf, trying to tuck it in without making the whole thing look bulky.

“That’s not going to work. Give it here,” Cassidy sighed, unwinding the black scarf from around Mya’s neck and tossing it aside, reaching into her own treasure trove of costume jewellery and coming out with a multi string pearl choker. “Do the naughty rich MILF thing tonight and you won’t have to take this off,” she suggested, eyeing the white lace merry widow and garter set Mya already had on. “I have a grey pencil skirt. Han, you still have that white satin blouse with the bow?” Mya looked from one woman to the other and let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks,” Mya whispered, holding the strands of pearls up to her neck, her fingers brushing the livid reminders of Sidney’s passion.

“You should remind that cute little Frenchman of yours to go easy on you,” Hannah remarked from her position down the table where she had gone back to reading one of her favourite trashy bodice rippers. An obviously well loved and often read one if the dog eared corners of the pages and creased cover were anything to go by.

“This...,” Mya signed, covering the bite marks on her neck with the pearls before leaning back into the mirror to return to dabbing at the ones near her collarbones with more make up. “This wasn’t Kris.”

“You hussy!” Hannah cried, putting her book back down and excitedly meeting Mya’s reflected gaze in the long mirror. “You’ve been having it off with someone behind that little cutie’s back and you haven’t told us?” Mya took a deep breath and tore her gaze away from the too eager look in the other woman’s eyes. She wished it was something to get excited about. She really did.
“It’s...not that exciting...honestly,” Mya admitted with a sigh, standing back and staring at her reflection, trying to decide if the make up had done its’ job.
“Are you kidding? Hello? Single mother over here. I don’t get this kind of excitement. So c’mon...spill.”

Mya sighed and shook her head. Part of her wanted to tell someone, get it off her chest, with the hopes that saying it out loud would make her feel better. But as much as these women were really the only people she was friendly with in Pittsburgh, the only people aside from Kris or the other students on campus that she spent any time with at all, she didn’t consider them friends. Not really.

Still...it was eating her alive to keep this secret inside.

And yet she couldn’t tell his secret. Had he been anyone else, anyone but Sidney Crosby, then maybe she could have told them all about it. But he was who he was and as angry, as hurt as she was and her pain was certainly considerable, she couldn’t tell just anyone the real story.

“It’s just...it’s just a guy I met...on vacation in the summer and we just keep...running into each other,” Mya tried to explain, to both Hannah and Cassidy’s amusement.

“That looks like a little more than just running into each other,” Cassidy smirked, pulling her hair back into pig tails before reaching for her silver and Barbie pink pom-poms, “unless you mean like...literally and with baseball bats.”

“So what does your poor little French boy think about this?” Hannah asked, leaning forward, chin on hands, eyes bright with interest. Gossip. She was loving this.

“I broke up with him...I think. I mean...I told him there was someone else and then...anyway, so that’s that.” Mya replied, squaring her shoulders and tilting her head to one side, considering the woman looking back in the mirror at her. She looked older. She looked...sad. Leaning towards the mirror, Mya looked at her bloodshot eyes and reached for more eyeliner, hoping to darken them enough that it wouldn’t show on stage.

“You don’t sound convinced that you’re over with that long haired hockey player of yours,” Cassidy noted, handing over the promised pencil skirt and eyeing Mya sceptically. Mya unfolded the bebe skirt with care and began to step into it.

“Oh that’s over. Believe me. He won’t want anything to do with me now,” she replied with a sigh. She did feel bad for Kris. He hadn’t deserved any of this. He’d done nothing but behave like an absolute gentleman. There would be some other, more grateful, woman to take her place, she knew, but all the same...she wished she could apologize. With a rueful grin she wondered if he’d laid a beating on Sidney yet. She sort of hoped he would and that he’d put a punch or two in for her.

“Well I hope this new guy’s worth it then,” Cassidy added, pursing her lips in the mirror, adding more bubble gum coloured lip gloss. “That Frenchie was a definite cutie.”

“Oh...there’s no new guy,” Mya mumbled as reached back to do up the zipper on the snug fitting skirt. Very Dita Von Teese. Hannah whistled and then reached into her cubby to pull out a cream coloured satin blouse. Mya accepted it and held it up in front of her. It looked classy. It did look like something some rich debutante would wear. “It’s not going to be anything...I don’t think it’s going to be anything.”
“You sound like you’d like it if it turned out to be something,” Hannah noted, to which Mya only shrugged. It was true but there was no using wishing for something that he so obviously didn’t want to happen.

“You know what they say about spilled milk,” Mya replied, pulling the cool, slick fabric over her shoulders, admiring the way it shimmered under the lights. It would look even better out on the stage, she thought, as she tied the bow at her neck, very sexy secretary.

“So you like this holiday romance boy,” Hannah continued to push and Mya felt her walls beginning to build the more she picked at the wound that was still raw and bleeding. Refusing to answer, Mya continued to gaze at her reflection, wondering what he saw but trying hard not to wonder if and when she’d ever see him again.

“Well I’m not one of your college people and my experience is obviously nothing to go by but if you like him...you’re a good looking girl and most men are pretty simple things. You should be able to nab him if you want him.” Mya smiled at the older woman’s reflection in the mirror. Oh, if only it were that easy.

“I can read all the books I want. Smarts isn’t going to help me nab this one, believe me,” she replied, shooting Hannah a contrite smile.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Cassidy grinned at both of them, bouncing on the toes of her perfectly white, squeaky clean Keds before giving her pom-poms a shake and grinning like a beauty queen. “But like someone wiser than me said, you don’t get to choose who your heart wants. Sucks don’t it?”

Mya nodded, thinking that was very apt indeed. It did suck big time.

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“Je suis t’étonné qu’ayez la témérité à révéler ici.”

Sidney started to say that he always showed up to practice, no matter what, injured or otherwise but quickly decided against it. His goal, after all, was not to rile the dark haired defenseman. Instead, Sidney skated out towards where Tanger was rocketing shots over the goal and off of the glass and gathered a puck onto his stick and began to skate silently towards the goal.

“So what...do you think you’re the fucking King or something? Did Bettman crown you king of us all and you get whatever you want? Huh? Are you going to take Vero too? Maybe have Jordan sign over his kid to you too? Huh?” Sidney kept his head down and circled the goal, keeping the puck on the blade of his stick. It was almost like with a wild animal. Don’t look them in the eye and they won’t charge. Sidney had seen Tanger fight. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, Tanger was vicious. He didn’t hold back.

For a defenseman Tanger wasn’t big but he was never afraid to take on guys bigger than him. Sidney didn’t relish the thought of going toe to toe with the dark haired Quebecois.

“Well? What amazing explanation do you have mon capitain? Hey? Quelle raison fucké pouves-tu donner pour voler ma fille?”

Only then did Sidney dare to look up and meet the blazing dark eyes of his teammate. He knew it didn’t matter what he said, Tanger wasn’t likely to believe him. Still, he had to try.

“I didn’t know that she...that Mya knew you. Not until yesterday. I met her during the summer in P.E.I.,” Sidney began, only to have Kris shake his dark hair into his eyes and laugh.

“Tabernak!” Tanger broke his stick over the net and tossed down both end as he cursed. “You actually are using the ‘I saw her first’ argument? I’ve been dating her for months. Elle n’a pas dit un mot simple. Not one!” He shouted, shaking his gloves to the ice and taking a step towards Sidney. Sidney pushed off and glided backwards, out of Tanger’s reach but his teammate kept coming.

“I didn’t know about you and her,” Sidney reiterated, trying to keep his voice calm, the blade of his stick on the ice and his back away from the boards.

“Maudit! It took me plus qu’un mois to get into her bed...I suppose you’re going to say you’ve been fucking her this entire time?” Tanger asked, his vocabulary mixing which Sidney knew was a sure sign that he was in danger. Kris was holding his fists up now, feinting and striking at air as Sidney weaved and bobbed, trying his best to avoid what he was almost sure was inevitable now. “Saint-ciboire de tabernac Sid, do you even love the girl?”

“No...I mean, maybe but it’s not a thing. I’m not ready to have a thing, not that it’s not a thing, because it could be a thing but it’s not. Not now, but...,” Sidney was more worried about the defenseman’s fists than he was answering the question, knowing the answer didn’t really matter, that it wouldn’t make Kris feel any better about what he’d seen and what he’s certain he could probably imagine. Still, he thought for just a moment, he was surprised by his own answer.

Maybe? Could he really be falling for her? Maybe he’d already fallen for her?

“That’s right Croz. Sacrer son camp. Just like a little girl,” Tanger mocked him for continuing to skate away. “Fuck, at least give me the fucking chance to smack your lying mouth.”

“I’m not...,” Sidney opened his mouth to disagree but Kris was faster. Sidney reeled from the punch, his head snapping back, his jaw shifting painfully. He managed to stay on his feet and Sidney shook his head, trying to clear his vision as he dropped his gloves. “Okay so you’ve had your....” Kris’s fist struck his cheek again and Sidney reeled for the second time, his arms wind-milling as he fought to keep his balance but Kris was already drawing his fist back like an arrow in a bow and then Sidney was falling down to the ice, his feet in the air, Kris on his chest, hand cocked to land another blow.

He could vaguely hear the rest of his teammates yelling and cat calling in the background, but mostly he could hear the pounding of his own heart, but strangely he found that he was calm, despite the fact that he was taking a beating.
Maybe the punch had cleared his mind.

He loved Mya.

He’d maybe loved her from the first minute he’d seen her. He was also pretty sure Randi had had some kind of hand in it. He wasn’t just falling for her. He had fallen. Hook line and sinker. He’d only been fighting it like a fish swimming upstream because he thought he should.

He’d been such a fucking idiot.

He had to see her. Had to tell her how stupid he was. He had to beg for forgiveness.
He just had to get out from under Kris first.

“Are you both fucking insane?” Max was dragging Tanger off of him and Fleur and Jordy were offering him a hand up. His lip was busted open, his mouth and nose were bleeding and there was a pounding pain in the back of his head, but Sidney thought maybe he hadn’t been thinking this clear in months.

“I have to go,” he muttered, skating towards the exit, only to feel his legs, his knees, try to give out from beneath him.

“You’re going to the hospital,” Fleur replied in that quite matter of fact tone of his as he guided Sidney towards the bench.

“He’s right. Your melon took a hell of a bounce off the ice Creature. I think you’d better let him take you.”

“No...I have to see Mya,” Sidney muttered, wincing at the pain behind his eyes
“Later, maybe. Hospital first,” Fleur insisted and as Sidney’s skates hit the rubber matting he tried to shake his head, and then everything went black.