Chapter 20

“You should give him the benefit of the doubt,” Tish instructed as she laid back on the pillow, looking up at Mya who was reaching over to mop her brow with a cool cloth with one hand and reaching for the ice chips with the other.

“It’s not that he had to say something. I mean, that’s total bullshit but I get the why of that. It’s what he said that’s pissing me off,” Mya explained as she watched Tish close her eyes as the contraction eased. They were coming closer together and Mya was beginning to wonder where Jordan had got to. Tish had called him from the car as Mya drove at break neck speeds through the city and he’d sworn he’d be right behind them. She was beginning to worry that he had gotten into an accident and might be lying dead in the morgue or something, but she wasn’t about to share her concerns with the woman who was lying, sweating, in the hospital bed.

“He might not have been given a choice of what to say,” Tish sighed, her expression softening as the cool water from the cloth trickled down her face.

“I didn’t see a gun pointed at the back of his head,” Mya muttered, glancing hopefully towards the door. If Jordan would just get here to take over, she could maybe get some space and clear her head. It was entirely possible that she was overreacting, but she wouldn’t know that until she had some space and time to digest what she’d seen.

After all, she still hadn’t returned any of Sidney’s calls and he had called twice more since they’d arrived at the hospital, but then the nurse had asked her, none too politely, to turn off her phone while the fetal monitor was on. Mya listened to the crazy mix of heartbeats. It was sort of a soothing noise, she thought, right up until Tish squeezed her hand so hard that she could feel the bones of her fingers rubbing together.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck me!” Tish howled, doubling over, her eyes shut tight, her teeth clenched. Mya rubbed at one of the bare spots between the ties on Tish’s back and tried to think of soothing things to say. “Where in the fuck is my husband?” Tish growled, her eyes glazed over with pain.

“Do you want me to go out and try and call him again?” Mya offered, reaching for Tish’s phone, which was lying on the tray beside the bed, set on vibrate. Hospital rules be damned as far as Tish was concerned, at least until her wayward husband showed up.

“No, stay, please,” Tish panted, sagging back onto the mattress, her face beaded with sweat, her hand still gripping tightly to Mya’s. “I don’t want to be myself,” she added, sounding a lot less fierce than she had a moment ago. Mya nodded, smiling. Maybe it was a good idea to have a distraction and a little time to help her to cool off. It wasn’t that she wanted to break up with Sidney exactly. Although the thought had certainly crossed her mind about a second and a half after she’d heard him say that he couldn’t respect what she was currently doing to pay her bills. She was just so damn disappointed that he’d sold her down the river like that, especially when she’d thought she’d gotten through to him. She had begun to think that he actually understood and that he had developed some respect for how hard it was and how well she did it.

Men.

“See, I told you that we hadn’t missed anything.”

Both Mya and Tish looked up to see Jordan’s smiling face bobbing towards them, closely followed by his younger brother Marc, who was in town with his team. Mya felt her hand being crushed as Tish let out a high pitched scream.

“What is he doing here?”

“I was picking him up at the airport. He always stays with me when he’s in town. How ya doin’ babes?” he asked, nonchalantly as he bent to kiss his wife, which Mya thought, considering the state of her own hand, was possibly a suicidal move. Tish grabbed a handful of his wheaten hair and yanked, pulling his eyes level with hers and let out a feral growl that sent chills down Mya’s spine. Talk about mama bear....

“I have my legs up in stirrups. My pussy is hanging out for everyone to see. Do I look like I want company to you?” Jordan shook his head, as best he could considering the vice like grip that his wife had on his hair. Mya did her best not to laugh. She really did not want to be drawing attention to herself at this very moment in time.

“I’ll just...walk him out to the lounge?” Jordan made it a question, or maybe it was just the extra twist Tish gave his cow lick before she let him go. In any case, he slipped out of the room, his ginger haired brother laughing behind him. Mya watched them go, shaking her head.

Men.

“Did someone order some drugs?”

The doctor emerged from behind Jordan and his brother, syringe in hand and Mya felt Tish relax as soon as the small dark man smiled towards them.

“If she doesn’t want it, I’ll take it. I think I’m going to need it when I get feeling back in my hand,” Mya chuckled, raising her mangled hand for him to see as Tish pushed herself up to a sitting position.

“I’ll send you down to ortho, as soon as our lovely lady here gets her epidural. Do you want to wait for your husband to come back?” he asked Tish, moving around behind her to undo the stays on her hospital gown.

“Fuck no,” Tish grumbled, leaning as far forward as her very large, active tummy would allow.

“Maybe if you hold her hands, it will help her to keep still,” the OB suggested, giving Mya a wink as he held up the huge syringe. Mya eyed that instrument of torture with wide eyes and decided that not being near the site of that thing going in was a better idea.

She was just taking Mya’s hands, holding them tightly in her own while Mya took a deep breath when Jordan came back, took one look at the size of the needle going into his wife’s back, and promptly passed out.

_____________________________________________________________________

So it was back to this, Sidney thought as he stared down at his phone, which still had not rung, not even vibrated to let him know she was at least acknowledging his text messages. Glancing up at the apartment building across the street, he could see that there was still no light on and he couldn’t help but imagine her sitting there in the dark, the phone unplugged and her cell turned off. He wondered if she was angry, or crying? Either way, he needed to talk to her, needed to explain.

But he couldn’t quite work up the courage to actually go inside and knock on her door. Not after he’d seen the press conference for himself on Television and the way they’d edited it. He hadn’t been thinking about that when he’d been in front of all those microphones, all those cameras. He hadn’t thought about the way the networks edit things down to sound bites and the way that would make him sound.

Which was like an ignorant, insensitive pig, or at least he was sure that was the way that Mya was going to see it. When he’d said that he didn’t have a lot of respect for the job, he’d also followed that up with the fact that he had a great deal of respect for the women that do the job and that he knew how difficult it was and that the circumstances of many of the women who undertake that type of work was equally difficult. Of course that wasn’t the sexy 30 second sound bite the networks went with.

Sidney slammed his hands against the steering wheel. It was so unfair. No one understood what it was like to live in the fucking fish bowl that is his life, he thought irritably. He didn’t want to be bland and boring, automaton Crosby, always saying and doing the right things. He wanted to be a carefree fuck up like Max. Max had so much more fun, doing whatever and whoever he wanted, whenever and wherever he wanted to.

What he wouldn’t give for that kind of freedom, Sidney thought, leaning his forehead against the wheel and cursing under his breath. The problem was, every time he did anything outside of the box it came back to bite him in the ass, big time.

She’d warned him that he shouldn’t get involved with someone like her, he thought with a sigh. Maybe he should have listened to her. It was much too late for that though, he knew unreservedly. He was in too deep. He was too invested. He was in love with the girl, for good or for ill.

And he couldn’t...no he wouldn’t give up on it. He was even more determined not to just give in to Troy or his Mario or anyone else that might stand in the way of his being with Mya. Not even Mya, he thought sardonically. Even if she decided that she didn’t want him, he wanted her and he was single-minded when it came to getting things he set his mind to.

He looked up again at her dark apartment and made up his mind to go up there and make her listen, right when a dark sports car pulled up in front of the building. A car he recognized.

Tanger’s car and Mya was getting out of it.

Sidney felt his blood pressure peak, his teeth grinding together as he watched her bend down to say something to the lone occupant. He couldn’t read her lips from across the road, especially in the dark, but he could clearly see that she was smiling and it made him sick to his stomach.

It had only been a few hours, he thought grimly, squeezing the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles went white. Could she really have gone back to him already, he asked himself as he watched her standing there, chatting animatedly with his teammate.

There was only one way to find out.

__________________________________________________________________

“I’m definitely seeing daddy’s eyes,” Mya said, grinning down at the tiny, squirming and yawning, bundle of joy she was holding in her arms.

“Yep, they definitely have Staalsy’s blue eyes,” Kris said, meeting Mya’s gaze across the bed where he was holding the other twin, Miranda, in his arms. “Luckily they don’t have that crazy chin of yours Jordy,” the young Frenchman added with a wink towards Mya, who laughed and shook her head.

“But do they have his hard head?” Tish asked affectionately, without looking up from the top of her husband’s head. She was busy counting the stitches the doctor’s had put there from when he’d passed out cold at the sight of the Epidural.

“Well not yet,” Mya replied, running her hand lightly over the strawberry blonde fuzz on the top Micah’s head, “but he smells better than his dad, I know that.”

“I agree,” Tish laughed, wrinkling up her nose at the antiseptic smell of the area around his stitches that seemed to be mixing with that bleach and ammonia smell that pervades hospitals in general. “Hand that little boy to me, My, I need to stick my nose in his hair.” Mya took one long last deep baby filled breath in and then reluctantly and gingerly placed the blue wrapped bundle back in his mother’s arms.

“If his head was a little harder he wouldn’t be looking at a week in the press box,” Kris grumbled, handing his own pink swathed bundle into Jordan’s outstretched arms.

“Well someone has to help me change diapers,” Tish chuckled, cooing at her little boy before turning an inquiring eye towards Mya.

“Don’t look at me like that. I am not coming over to do your midnight feeds,” she laughed, leaning over to press her lips to the new mother’s forehead. “Speaking of which, I am dead on my feet and this,” she held up her bruised and battered hand, “needs to go on ice. I’ll come see how you’re doing in the morning.”

“I can give you a ride home,” Kris offered, Mya thought a little too promptly.

“I just live like...literally down the street. I can walk, thanks,” she replied quietly, turning to head for the door. It had already been just a little too weird having Kris show up, alone, without any of his other teammates around not long after Tish had managed to squeeze Miranda out. It seemed a little too obvious. On the other hand, Mya did feel like he had an apology that was long overdue, and an explanation coming that she did owe him. She just didn’t feel like making it tonight.

“It’s cold and rainy. I don’t mind,” Kris said, falling into step with her. Mya shrugged and sort of nodded, half heartedly, before turning to give the new family unit a wave. Not that they noticed, and not that she blamed them. For only being a couple of hours old, those were two cute kids. “Besides, I have an admission to make,” Kris added as they strolled down the hall, past other expectant fathers pacing the halls on their cell phones, still pregnant women hanging off of the shoulders of loved ones, hoping to bring on imminent labour by walking.

“Well I’ll warn you, I don’t have any nun or priest costumes,” Mya giggled nervously, “so I can’t promise I’ll keep it between you and me.”

“If you tell Sidney...well I’d probably tell him myself if he was here,” Kris replied as if he didn’t get the joke, which Mya very much doubted. That only meant he was very serious about whatever heavy shit he was about to lay on her.

“Look if it was your idea to bring Sidney to the bar then I forgive you,” Mya began as they turned the corner towards the front door and Kris walked a little faster to get ahead, so he could hold open the door, like the good old fashioned sort of gentleman he was. She could feel the little weight in her stomach that was what was left of her feelings for him, getting heavier.

“No, it wasn’t,” Kris smiled, a sort of half smile that didn’t go up to his soft brown eyes. “But close.” He indicated with a quick point where his car was in the parking lot, and, pulling her leather jacket up over her head, Mya dashed behind him to the car, bouncing in place as she waited for him to slide in and unlock the door.

“Just tell me one thing,” Kris said as he started the car and Mya gave herself a dog like shake to shed as much of the icy water from her skin as she could. “Were you sleeping with Sidney when we were...going out?” Mya took a deep breath and stared at the rain running in rivulets down the windshield.

“Once or twice,” she replied quietly, deciding that honesty was called for, considering what she’d done to him. Glancing sideways at him, she saw him grip the wheel hard before he sighed and nodded, as if that was the answer he was expecting, and then, steeling himself, threw the car in reverse.
______________________________________________________________________


“If you’re really that pissed at me, why don’t you just fuck him right here and make me watch?” Sidney snarled as he slammed the door on the Land Rover behind him and strode towards where the driver’s side door of Kris’s dark coloured European sports car. He gave Kris a dark look before facing Mya over the roof of the car. She was looking surprised to see him. Well of course she was. She’d just been caught red handed, elbow deep in the cookie jar.

“I’m pissed at you alright Crosby, but not that desperate,” she replied coolly, bouncing her house keys thoughtfully in her hand. As if she was maybe thinking about tossing them at his head. “I was just saying good night to Kris. He was nice enough to drive me home from the hospital, where I’ve been being a very good WAG all night, holding Trish’s hand while she had twins. I noticed you haven’t visited,” she replied, an edge in her voice that told him that he was deep, deep in the dog house. Running her hand across her face, to brush the rain out of her eyes, left behind a dark smudge where her eyeliner and mascara were beginning to run.

“Tish and Jordy had the twins?” Sidney asked, feeling the flutter of butterfly wings in his chest.

“Micah and Miranda...named for you girlfriend I suspect?” Mya replied, the icy tone in her voice deepening. The only thing Sidney could do was nod, struck mute by the idea of a little girl named for Randi.... “They’re all doing fine, if you care,” she added, sarcasm creeping into her voice. “Although truth be told, Jordan’s a little worse for wear.”

“Jordan?” Sidney had to think for a moment who that was, his thought were... elsewhere.

“Yeah, hit his head, the big pussy. Now, I’d love to stay and chat out here all night but,” Mya ran her hand through her hair which was now slicked to her skull and dripping down her face, “but I’ve had this sort of long, shitty day and I’d rather not die of pneumonia so, I think Kris has something to say to you and then if you want to come up and apologize for being such a complete fucking asshole, I’ll think about whether or not I want to let you in.”

Sidney watched her turn on her heel and head into the apartment. He watched her until her dark clad form had disappeared from view before he looked down into the driver’s window, which had then rolled slowly down.

“Get in.”

______________________________________________________________

Mya grabbed a towel and draped it over her head before shucking her clothes and tossing them in a heap in the corner. She’d have to do laundry first thing in the morning before her clothes started to mould and smell, but right now, all she could think about was getting into a hot shower and trying to forget about this day.
Not the part where Tish gave birth to the twins. That part had been amazing. Tish had cried, she’d cried, Jordan had been too stoned on whatever they’d given him for his headache to cry but he’d grinned like an idiot.

What she wanted to forget about was the part where she’d seen the man she was falling in love with say that he didn’t respect her. That part she could still feel, like a roofing nail digging into her chest. That part still bled. That part, she hadn’t decided what she was going to do about it, but she’d promised Tish, on her brand new babies heads, that she’d give Sidney the opportunity to explain himself.
The other part she wanted to forget was that Kris had been the one to film her at work and hand it over to the press.

She could understand it. After the initial shock wore off, she realized that he was still angry and had every right to be. What he’d done was childish and he knew it. He didn’t feel very good about it and he knew that once the rest of the team found out, he’d probably be on the first bus to the minors, but he’d admitted it and he’d apologized and Mya believed he was really, truly sorry.

She still sort of hoped that Sidney would punch him in the mouth though, she realized, as she stepped beneath the hot water and turned her face up into the spray. It wasn’t just childish, it was mean spirited. Understandable, she decided, but petty. She’d thought more of him than that.

She’d felt bad about fucking Sidney behind his back but she didn’t anymore.

“I’m sorry.” She’d heard the door to the bathroom open and shut and smiled to herself. So he should be. “You don’t...there was more to it than what was shown on TV and I did try and call you,” he continued, sounding as tired and over this day as she felt. “I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to even say anything about it but I wasn’t given a choice,” he added, and Mya could hear him slumping against the wall, could hear him sliding down to the floor. She imagined him dropping his head into his hands, his dark hair made even darker by the rain, plastered to his head like he’d just finished a game, his pale skin all the more pale for the strain and the worry her not getting in touch with him had probably caused.

Mya let the hot water run over her face, and smiled. It felt good. It felt good to be warm. It also felt good to have a man grovelling to her but after what Kris had done...she decided that a little mercy was probably in order.

“Get in here,” she said, closing her eyes and listening to the silence that was quickly followed the sound of scrambling feet, quickly followed by the sound shoes being kicked off and his jeans hitting the floor.