Chapter 25

“Could you two stop it? You’re seriously putting me off my food,” Max complained loudly as Mya nuzzled at Sidney’s neck. She was sitting on his lap, having found that sitting on the stool next to him was just not nearly close enough in the loved up mood she was in.

“I find it hard to believe that anything can put you off your feedbag Superstar,” Jordy laughed, slapping Max on the back and stealing a wing off of his plate as he passed. Blush may have been closed to the public, but the management had made an exception tonight for the man who had freed their employees and so the Pens were taking advantage, including the married men, some of whom had their wives with them. Not Jordan though.

“I can’t believe Tish let you out,” Mya laughed, slapping the tall forward’s hand away from the bowl of pita chips that she and Sidney were sharing. Pita chips, slightly healthier than regular chips and the only thing on the menu that he would eat besides the Caesar Salad and even that had to come without the croutons.

“He probably escaped out the window and shimmied off the roof,” Max replied, pointing one of the wing bones accusingly at his friend. “She’ll probably show up here screaming like a banshee and then we’ll all be in trouble.”

“Wow, so bitter Max. I thought he was supposed to be the funny guy on the team,” Mya noted, shaking her head at the stocky forward even as she tried not to laugh at him. She was doing her best to forgive and forget his actions of the night before as it seemed that Sid had either entirely forgotten, or had that gift to just get over shit like that. That was something that seemed to come with having a penis Mya had noticed.

“Mr. Grumpy needs to get laid,” Sidney noted bluntly, shooting Max a look that told Mya clearly that he had not, in fact, forgotten a thing.

“C’mon! You’re telling me Superstar has trouble with the ladies?” Mya teased, which earned her a dark look from Max.

“A guy has other needs aside from getting his rocks off,” Max mumbled, causing everyone within hearing distance to fall silent. “What?” Max grumbled, mid chew, looking around at all the gobsmacked faces staring back at him. “You think I don’t look at you and Mya and Jordy and T and wonder what I might be missing out on?”

“Honestly? No,” Sidney replied glancing at Mya who was still staring at Max, jaw slack.

“I thought you loved being a man whore. I thought you were proud of it. I thought that you hated that all the boys were pairing up on you,” Mya shot back at him to which Max only rolled his eyes.

“And a guy can’t change his mind?” Max mumbled, half under his breath, grabbing another chicken wing and biting vicously into it. “What?” he growled, his lips smothered in buffalo sauce as he returned he look of stunned disbelief with a look of his own that clearly said he’d discussed this topic about as much as he was willing to for the moment.

“Well if you’re serious,” Mya began, giving Sidney’s hand a gentle squeeze before slipping off of his lap and heading towards Max before turning and heading to the dj booth. “Marti, you back there girl? Get your pasties on and come out here.” The sexy and curvaceous Latina emerged from behind the beaded curtain wearing not much more than a red bikini and a smile. Max, who had taken up his usual seat at the very end of the catwalk looked up from his plate of wings and nearly choked. “Yeah, didn’t think you’d seen Marti yet,” Mya mumbled to herself as she hit play on the cd she’d just put into the disc drive.

She didn’t head back to the comfort of Sidney’s arms though. Instead, she headed behind the stage where she found Hannah putting the finishing touches on Tish, who was poured into a slim fitting black latex dress and matching thigh high boots.

“Holy shit mama. I am so hating you for losing the baby weight that fast,” Mya gushed as she carefully hugged Jordy’s wife.

“Well it’s not all gone but this sort of sucks it in and damn, I look fine,” Tish grinned at her reflection in the mirror, cupping her breasts in her hands. “And I may as well enjoy these while they last too.”

“Jordan is going to shit his pants,” Mya agreed as she shimmied out of her jeans in favour of a bright, neon green latex elf outfit, complete with matching pointed hat and striped knee socks.

“The things we do for our men huh?” Tish asked as she carefully applied a set of fake eyelashes, leaning towards the mirror, which nearly resulted in her considerable cleavage coming loose from her dress.

“Well, they do some pretty great things themselves,” Mya smiled to herself, thinking of the way Sidney had erased that heart from the shower door.

“Ah, that must mean he’s given you your prezzie,” Tish said in a way that said she knew exactly what that present would be.

“Oh, you mean this?” she replied, flashing her ring nonchalantly in Hannah’s direction, who promptly let out a whoop like a kid on Christmas morning on finding a puppy under the tree.

“That better not be all he’s given you,” Tish responded, arching her eyebrow in the mirror as she glanced at Mya’s reflection.

“No?” Mya asked, feeling her heart flutter like a caged bird in her chest.

“No,” Tish replied with an eloquent smile.

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“Look at him. It’s like he’s never seen a pair of tits before,” Jordy chuckled as he slid onto the bar stool next to Sid, who was also watching Max with a certain amount of amusement.

“You have to admit, she is pretty damn hot,” Sid replied, finding something fascinating in the bowl of chips in front of him when Max shot him an evil glance.

“This, from the guy that just bailed his woman out of jail? I’m shocked. I didn’t think you even noticed other women now,” Jordan teased, elbowing his friend in the ribs. Sid shrugged, taking a sip of his coke and whiskey.

“I’m off the market. Not blind,” Sid replied coolly, much to Jordan’s amusement.

“Oh, like you’d dare even look at another woman with Tish around? Where is the mouth that roars by the way? I can’t believe she’d miss this,” Sidney asked, stirring the ice in his drink thoughtfully. He was beginning to wonder where Mya had disappeared to. They only had a few more hours before he had to meet his parents at Mario’s and he still had things to say, not to mention a trunk full of presents to give her yet.

“I think she’s afraid to leave the twins with her parents. She thinks her mother will sell them on the black market or something,” Jordan replied with a grin.

“How’s that going, the Asian in laws?” Sidney asked, wondering why it was that Mya never mentioned her family. Why she wasn’t disappearing somewhere to be with them. He made a mental note to ask her.

“Tish made it pretty clear if they started talking in Cantonese around me that she’d kick them out of the house,” Jordan nodded to himself, looking pretty proud of his wife. “They’ve been pretty good so far and you should see the shit they got for the twins. Holy fuck! It makes the prezzies that my parents brought look like shit you’d buy at Walmart or something.”

“And what is wrong with Walmart, exactly?” Fleur asked, grinning at the two of them as he tossed a card in front of each. “And here I am, with K-Mart gift certificates.”

“You’re not,” Jordan’s mouth turned down in a disappointed frown and both Sid and Fleur just about pissed themselves laughing.

“Mon dieu. As if. Do you think Vero would allow such a thing to occur?” he asked, shaking his head and reaching up to muss the blonde forward’s hair. “Moda, of course. Vero practically owns everything from that store.”

“Sweet,” Jordan grinned, offering his arms to the diminutive goal tender, who only narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips as he shook his head. Sidney gripped his ribs sure that he was about to pull something when Max let go a long high pitched whistle, before jumping out of his seat and giving the dancer, who was now walking away from them all, a standing ovation, which reminded Sid that Mya was still missing.

“Does anyone know where Mya went?” he asked, glancing around, specifically at the table where Tanger was sitting on his own, nursing a beer. One of these days he hoped the defenseman would forgive him, but it didn’t look like that would be happening tonight.

“Up here boys.”

Sid looked up to find Mya, Tish, Vero and Oskana looking down at him from the stage, wearing.... Well it could have been worse he thought to himself, though he had to blink and rub at his eyes before he could believe what he was seeing.

“Once more,” Mya cooed, kneeling so that she could brush her fingertips down his cheek until the pad of her thumb came to rest on his bottom lip, though it was hers’ that was sticking out in a classic pout. “Don’t be mad. The girls have practiced so hard.” Shaking his head, Sid found that he was laughing and not at all upset.
Hell, it wasn’t like she hadn’t been naked in front of most of his teammates before.

“Woooohoooo! Will you look at my Baby Momma!” Jordan had leapt to his feet and was cheering wildly, clapping and bouncing on the spot like a high school cheerleader. “My wife is hawwwwt!”

It might have been true, and Geno and Flower certainly seemed to agree as far as their significant others were concerned. For his part, Sidney only had eyes for Mya and as the first notes of “Santa Baby” filled the room, Sidney thought he could have been given worse Christmas presents than this.

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Staring at the crackling Yule Log on the TV, in the dark, wearing his new sweater, with the woman he loved cuddled in his arms, Sidney couldn’t help but think that this had to be one of the best Christmases he had ever had. He didn’t even allow the knowledge that he would have to leave this little piece of heaven soon ruin the moment. Closing his eyes, he felt his heart beat slow and paced his breathing with her slow, deep breaths. He could sleep, for a little while, before he had to go and play happy families.

“Sid?” Mya mumbled, her voice low and drowsy and partially muffled by her cheek being pressed against the cashmere sweater she’d bought him. He looked down at her dark glossy hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head in reply. “I just...I’m so happy right now. I love you,” she added, her words nearly lost as she tried to stifle a yawn but lost. The flickering light from the TV caught the diamonds in her ring and Sidney found his gaze locked on her hand as she lifted it to cover her mouth.

“Me too sweetheart,” he whispered, capturing her hand and lifting it to his lips, pressing his lips to the back of her hand before placing it back on his chest, over his heart.

“I wish you didn’t have to go at all. I wish we could spend another day, just you and me,” she continued, snuggling closer, though he wasn’t sure it was possible to get any closer than this. At least not with their clothes on and though that was tempting, he kind of liked just being like this, relaxed. Calm. Quiet.

“I don’t have to go yet,” he reminded her, cradling her head gently in his hand and pressing it back to his chest. “Go back to sleep.” She nodded and he felt her settling against him once again but only for a moment before he could feel her stirring again and he looked down to find her lifting her hand so that the diamonds in the ring caught the light again.

“I love my presents,” she added, sounding genuinely pleased as she reached to tug on the one carat diamonds in her ears, before settling back against him.

“And I love mine,” he agreed, sliding his hand down over the smooth satin of the black baby doll she was wearing, which she had modeled for him as soon as they’d arrived at her apartment. There were other, equally enticing pieces of lingerie in several boxes that were now stacked beneath the purple tinsel tree beside the TV. Just because she was giving up stripping didn’t mean she was going to go back to wearing cotton granny panties she’d promised.

Sidney smiled contentedly. They were good presents and he was going to have a good time trying them out. People were always complaining that he was hard to buy for.
‘What do you buy a millionaire who can buy himself anything?’ Mya had done a pretty damn good job he thought as he looked at the mound of wrapping paper peeking out of the garbage bag near the door and then down at the stack of books topped by the iPod under the tree. It gave him a strangely warm feeling in his chest to think of all the time she’d taken to download all that music and all those videos just for him.

And it wasn’t just stuff she thought he should like, it was stuff he did like. It was stuff that he’d hummed along to on the radio but hadn’t known the name of the group. It was stuff other guys played in the locker room or the weight room that gone him going but he’d never had the time to go looking for. It was stuff that he’d meant to download but just never actually had the time to actually do it.

She knew him. She got him. And she loved him. How fucking cool was that?

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He was warm, like an electric blanket. No, strike that. He was like a giant hot water bottle that she could wrap herself around and go to sleep as comfortable and warm as a bug in a rug.

Bug in a rug? Where did that come from, Mya thought as she lay, contented, wrapped in Sidney’s arms. She could hear the crackle and pop of the Yule Log on the TV behind her and that, mixed with the sound of his steadily beating heart, had Mya yawning, barely able to keep her eyes open.

Well, that and she’d ridden him like a prize race horse almost as soon as they’d walked through the door.

Mya grinned to herself and cuddled closer to him. He’d liked his Christmas presents, a lot. Actually she hadn’t been sure which he’d liked more, the stuff from Fredericks of Hollywood or the iPod. He’d really been like a kid on Christmas morning, tearing through the carefully wrapped presents, sending paper flying in every direction. He’d actually pouted when she told him he could only pick one of the outfits for her to wear for him tonight. But he had spent a long time scrolling through the playlists she’d loaded onto it.

That had been as good any present, Mya thought as she yawned again. Watching him be really happy. She got the distinct impression that he didn’t get that many moments where he could just really lose himself like that.

Turning so that she could look up at him, resting her chin on the back of her hands where they rested in the middle of his chest, she looked up into his boyish face. He was leaner now than he had been back in the summer when she’d first met him. Paler too. He also looked exhausted and that made her feel just a little guilty. She hadn’t left much of him for his parents.

“Babes...maybe you should go home, to your own bed? Get some actual sleep?” she suggested, giving him a little shake. He opened one and looked down at her like she’d just said something in Swahili. “If you stumble into breakfast with a sore back from sleeping on my couch, Mario will have my ass, not to mention what your mother will think.”

Sidney’s arms slid from around her as he shifted his weight to his elbows and pushed himself up into a seated position, still blinking sleep from his eyes.

“If you’d said something about my dad, I would have ignored you,” he muttered, giving her a half smile as he rubbed at his eyes.

“Well I’m pretty sure from what you’ve said I don’t stand much of a chance winning him over unless your mom and Taylor have my back so I thought I’d try and get you to them in one piece so they don’t hate me too much,” Mya replied, shimmying up so that she could sit across his lap. “But only if you think you’re okay to drive.”

“Is that your way of asking me to stay?” he asked as his smile widened, his gaze sweeping eagerly over the black satin ensemble. It was tempting, damn tempting to keep him to herself, to stay hidden away from the world, together, making love all day, but Mya shook her head and pushed herself to her feet.

“You should go,” she sighed, reaching for one of the throws she’d left on the back of one the chairs and drew it around her shoulders to keep the chill at bay while she walked him to the door. Funny, she thought, even knowing he was going made the place suddenly feel empty.

“But I don’t want to,” he moaned, coming up behind her, brushing her hair aside and pressing his lips to nape of her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. Mya closed her eyes and leaned back against him. She opened her lips to agree but she felt something cool and slippery fall between her breasts and was too shocked to speak as she tried to step back away from it but only found herself in his arms.

Sidney chuckled as she squirmed in his grasp, and eventually Mya stilled as he lifted the pendant in his hand so that she could see it. It was another heart, a big one, the size of a silver dollar, maybe larger, and made entirely of diamonds, except where a pair of red horns and a tail had been added.

“For my little devil,” he whispered in her ear, his breath warm where it tickled the back of her neck, “merry Christmas sweetheart.”

Mya felt the weight of the pendant fall between her breasts and then his hand sliding over her breast until the palm of his hand brushed over her nipple. Sucking a sharp breath in between her teeth, she leaned back into him and reached up wrap her arm over his neck, urging his lips toward the spot on her neck that made her whimper when he found it.

“This isn’t getting me to my own bed any faster,” he whispered in her ear, his hand gently massaging her breast while his other hand, she could feel, was working at the zipper on his jeans.

“Well, we can make it quick,” she sighed as she felt his cock slide up against the smooth fabric that barely covered her ass.

“I never want to make it quick with you,” he hissed, as his other hand now slid beneath the fabric of the teddy and found its own breast to play with.

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She was sleeping soundly, her soft lips slightly agape, her hand clutching the corner of the pillow he’d recently vacated. She looked worn out, but truth was, he knew if he woke her now, she’d be able to go at least another two rounds, whereas him....

Sidney smothered a yawn with his hand. He was done in. He was going to be taking his life in his hands just driving to Mario’s but if he didn’t leave now, he wasn’t going to get showered and shaved in time for breakfast. Sniffing near his pits, Sidney made a face. There was definitely not going to be any avoiding the shower.
Still, he thought as he leaned down to plant a soft kiss on her temple, it had definitely been worth it even if the last time he remembered being this tired was after being up nearly thirty six hours after they’d won the cup.

Pocketing his keys, he tip-toed out of her bedroom and into the living room where he shut off the TV and its’ Yule Log, turned the lights out on the Christmas tree and gathered his presents. He smiled as he slid the iPod into his other pocket. He planned on plugging that in as soon as he got into the car and cranking it, hoping that would keep him awake long enough to get home and into his shower. Then he just had to stay awake long enough to play nice with his father.

He’s promised her not bring her up to his parents and if his father did bring her up, to ignore it. For her, he thought to himself as he pulled the apartment door shut behind him. For her he’d turn the other cheek – today. After that...well, he wasn’t about to make any kind of promises. Because after today, well, he didn’t know how long he was going to wait until he put the other ring he’d bought when he’d been out Christmas shopping on her finger.

Chapter 13

“You’re a dark horse.” Sidney looked up from tying his skate to see Max grinning down at him. Sidney thought about ignoring the comment, or even feigning ignorance, but decided it wasn’t worth the trouble.

“You wouldn’t understand, even if I explained it to you,” Sidney muttered, returning to his task and trying to ignore the way the small hairs on the back of his neck were standing up, telling him that everyone was watching him. The room was too quiet, way quieter than usual. He didn’t like it. Not one bit.

This was bad. He didn’t need anyone to tell him that. It was a cardinal rule. You didn’t fuck around with your teammate’s girl. It was a rule that, while unwritten, was practically inscribed in granite as far as rules went within the room and he’d broken it.

It wasn’t going to matter that he’d seen her first. Pretty close only worked with horseshoes and hand grenades. It wasn’t even going to matter that he’d slept with her first. He hadn’t put a claim on her. He should have, god knows, but he hadn’t.
Kris had called her his girlfriend and even though Sidney knew he could honestly claim he didn’t know that his Mya was Kris’s girlfriend, he also knew it wouldn’t matter to Kris or any of the other guys for that matter. As soon as he’d seen them together in the parking lot he should have put the keys back in his ignition and turned around. He should never have got out of the car. He should never have let her kiss him.

But he had and the rest, he thought grimly as he finished tying his skates. There would be no taking back what he’d done, not with Kris and not with Mya.

He’d screwed up. Badly. He knew it. He just didn’t know how to undo it.

“Whatever it is, the explanation, il devrait être bon,” Flower said quietly, his voice pitched so only Sidney could hear it, or at least normally that would be the case. Today, you could hear a sweat sock hit the floor and when Sidney glanced over at the young goaltender beside him, he caught Jordan nodding out of the corner of his eye.

“He’s right,” Jordan agreed without looking up from tugging on his socks. “There better be a fucking iron clad reason behind it.” Taking a deep breath, Sidney reached over and wrapped his hand around his stick.

“Is he here?” He didn’t need to say who. Both Jordy and Flower nodded. “Just promise me you’ll call 911 if there’s blood,” he muttered, pushing himself up to his feet and plodding out the door and down the hall, readying himself to face the music.
_____________________________________________________________________________

“What part of the Fredericks catalogue has scarves?” Hannah asked, flipping the end of the scarf that Mya was tying around her neck to hide the angry red bite marks on her neck. Mya shot her a nasty look and continued to try to find some way to make the camouflage work.

“Are you going to just stand there and make sarcastic comments or are you going to help?” she snapped, tugging on the end of the scarf, trying to tuck it in without making the whole thing look bulky.

“That’s not going to work. Give it here,” Cassidy sighed, unwinding the black scarf from around Mya’s neck and tossing it aside, reaching into her own treasure trove of costume jewellery and coming out with a multi string pearl choker. “Do the naughty rich MILF thing tonight and you won’t have to take this off,” she suggested, eyeing the white lace merry widow and garter set Mya already had on. “I have a grey pencil skirt. Han, you still have that white satin blouse with the bow?” Mya looked from one woman to the other and let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks,” Mya whispered, holding the strands of pearls up to her neck, her fingers brushing the livid reminders of Sidney’s passion.

“You should remind that cute little Frenchman of yours to go easy on you,” Hannah remarked from her position down the table where she had gone back to reading one of her favourite trashy bodice rippers. An obviously well loved and often read one if the dog eared corners of the pages and creased cover were anything to go by.

“This...,” Mya signed, covering the bite marks on her neck with the pearls before leaning back into the mirror to return to dabbing at the ones near her collarbones with more make up. “This wasn’t Kris.”

“You hussy!” Hannah cried, putting her book back down and excitedly meeting Mya’s reflected gaze in the long mirror. “You’ve been having it off with someone behind that little cutie’s back and you haven’t told us?” Mya took a deep breath and tore her gaze away from the too eager look in the other woman’s eyes. She wished it was something to get excited about. She really did.
“It’s...not that exciting...honestly,” Mya admitted with a sigh, standing back and staring at her reflection, trying to decide if the make up had done its’ job.
“Are you kidding? Hello? Single mother over here. I don’t get this kind of excitement. So c’mon...spill.”

Mya sighed and shook her head. Part of her wanted to tell someone, get it off her chest, with the hopes that saying it out loud would make her feel better. But as much as these women were really the only people she was friendly with in Pittsburgh, the only people aside from Kris or the other students on campus that she spent any time with at all, she didn’t consider them friends. Not really.

Still...it was eating her alive to keep this secret inside.

And yet she couldn’t tell his secret. Had he been anyone else, anyone but Sidney Crosby, then maybe she could have told them all about it. But he was who he was and as angry, as hurt as she was and her pain was certainly considerable, she couldn’t tell just anyone the real story.

“It’s just...it’s just a guy I met...on vacation in the summer and we just keep...running into each other,” Mya tried to explain, to both Hannah and Cassidy’s amusement.

“That looks like a little more than just running into each other,” Cassidy smirked, pulling her hair back into pig tails before reaching for her silver and Barbie pink pom-poms, “unless you mean like...literally and with baseball bats.”

“So what does your poor little French boy think about this?” Hannah asked, leaning forward, chin on hands, eyes bright with interest. Gossip. She was loving this.

“I broke up with him...I think. I mean...I told him there was someone else and then...anyway, so that’s that.” Mya replied, squaring her shoulders and tilting her head to one side, considering the woman looking back in the mirror at her. She looked older. She looked...sad. Leaning towards the mirror, Mya looked at her bloodshot eyes and reached for more eyeliner, hoping to darken them enough that it wouldn’t show on stage.

“You don’t sound convinced that you’re over with that long haired hockey player of yours,” Cassidy noted, handing over the promised pencil skirt and eyeing Mya sceptically. Mya unfolded the bebe skirt with care and began to step into it.

“Oh that’s over. Believe me. He won’t want anything to do with me now,” she replied with a sigh. She did feel bad for Kris. He hadn’t deserved any of this. He’d done nothing but behave like an absolute gentleman. There would be some other, more grateful, woman to take her place, she knew, but all the same...she wished she could apologize. With a rueful grin she wondered if he’d laid a beating on Sidney yet. She sort of hoped he would and that he’d put a punch or two in for her.

“Well I hope this new guy’s worth it then,” Cassidy added, pursing her lips in the mirror, adding more bubble gum coloured lip gloss. “That Frenchie was a definite cutie.”

“Oh...there’s no new guy,” Mya mumbled as reached back to do up the zipper on the snug fitting skirt. Very Dita Von Teese. Hannah whistled and then reached into her cubby to pull out a cream coloured satin blouse. Mya accepted it and held it up in front of her. It looked classy. It did look like something some rich debutante would wear. “It’s not going to be anything...I don’t think it’s going to be anything.”
“You sound like you’d like it if it turned out to be something,” Hannah noted, to which Mya only shrugged. It was true but there was no using wishing for something that he so obviously didn’t want to happen.

“You know what they say about spilled milk,” Mya replied, pulling the cool, slick fabric over her shoulders, admiring the way it shimmered under the lights. It would look even better out on the stage, she thought, as she tied the bow at her neck, very sexy secretary.

“So you like this holiday romance boy,” Hannah continued to push and Mya felt her walls beginning to build the more she picked at the wound that was still raw and bleeding. Refusing to answer, Mya continued to gaze at her reflection, wondering what he saw but trying hard not to wonder if and when she’d ever see him again.

“Well I’m not one of your college people and my experience is obviously nothing to go by but if you like him...you’re a good looking girl and most men are pretty simple things. You should be able to nab him if you want him.” Mya smiled at the older woman’s reflection in the mirror. Oh, if only it were that easy.

“I can read all the books I want. Smarts isn’t going to help me nab this one, believe me,” she replied, shooting Hannah a contrite smile.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Cassidy grinned at both of them, bouncing on the toes of her perfectly white, squeaky clean Keds before giving her pom-poms a shake and grinning like a beauty queen. “But like someone wiser than me said, you don’t get to choose who your heart wants. Sucks don’t it?”

Mya nodded, thinking that was very apt indeed. It did suck big time.

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“Je suis t’étonné qu’ayez la témérité à révéler ici.”

Sidney started to say that he always showed up to practice, no matter what, injured or otherwise but quickly decided against it. His goal, after all, was not to rile the dark haired defenseman. Instead, Sidney skated out towards where Tanger was rocketing shots over the goal and off of the glass and gathered a puck onto his stick and began to skate silently towards the goal.

“So what...do you think you’re the fucking King or something? Did Bettman crown you king of us all and you get whatever you want? Huh? Are you going to take Vero too? Maybe have Jordan sign over his kid to you too? Huh?” Sidney kept his head down and circled the goal, keeping the puck on the blade of his stick. It was almost like with a wild animal. Don’t look them in the eye and they won’t charge. Sidney had seen Tanger fight. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, Tanger was vicious. He didn’t hold back.

For a defenseman Tanger wasn’t big but he was never afraid to take on guys bigger than him. Sidney didn’t relish the thought of going toe to toe with the dark haired Quebecois.

“Well? What amazing explanation do you have mon capitain? Hey? Quelle raison fucké pouves-tu donner pour voler ma fille?”

Only then did Sidney dare to look up and meet the blazing dark eyes of his teammate. He knew it didn’t matter what he said, Tanger wasn’t likely to believe him. Still, he had to try.

“I didn’t know that she...that Mya knew you. Not until yesterday. I met her during the summer in P.E.I.,” Sidney began, only to have Kris shake his dark hair into his eyes and laugh.

“Tabernak!” Tanger broke his stick over the net and tossed down both end as he cursed. “You actually are using the ‘I saw her first’ argument? I’ve been dating her for months. Elle n’a pas dit un mot simple. Not one!” He shouted, shaking his gloves to the ice and taking a step towards Sidney. Sidney pushed off and glided backwards, out of Tanger’s reach but his teammate kept coming.

“I didn’t know about you and her,” Sidney reiterated, trying to keep his voice calm, the blade of his stick on the ice and his back away from the boards.

“Maudit! It took me plus qu’un mois to get into her bed...I suppose you’re going to say you’ve been fucking her this entire time?” Tanger asked, his vocabulary mixing which Sidney knew was a sure sign that he was in danger. Kris was holding his fists up now, feinting and striking at air as Sidney weaved and bobbed, trying his best to avoid what he was almost sure was inevitable now. “Saint-ciboire de tabernac Sid, do you even love the girl?”

“No...I mean, maybe but it’s not a thing. I’m not ready to have a thing, not that it’s not a thing, because it could be a thing but it’s not. Not now, but...,” Sidney was more worried about the defenseman’s fists than he was answering the question, knowing the answer didn’t really matter, that it wouldn’t make Kris feel any better about what he’d seen and what he’s certain he could probably imagine. Still, he thought for just a moment, he was surprised by his own answer.

Maybe? Could he really be falling for her? Maybe he’d already fallen for her?

“That’s right Croz. Sacrer son camp. Just like a little girl,” Tanger mocked him for continuing to skate away. “Fuck, at least give me the fucking chance to smack your lying mouth.”

“I’m not...,” Sidney opened his mouth to disagree but Kris was faster. Sidney reeled from the punch, his head snapping back, his jaw shifting painfully. He managed to stay on his feet and Sidney shook his head, trying to clear his vision as he dropped his gloves. “Okay so you’ve had your....” Kris’s fist struck his cheek again and Sidney reeled for the second time, his arms wind-milling as he fought to keep his balance but Kris was already drawing his fist back like an arrow in a bow and then Sidney was falling down to the ice, his feet in the air, Kris on his chest, hand cocked to land another blow.

He could vaguely hear the rest of his teammates yelling and cat calling in the background, but mostly he could hear the pounding of his own heart, but strangely he found that he was calm, despite the fact that he was taking a beating.
Maybe the punch had cleared his mind.

He loved Mya.

He’d maybe loved her from the first minute he’d seen her. He was also pretty sure Randi had had some kind of hand in it. He wasn’t just falling for her. He had fallen. Hook line and sinker. He’d only been fighting it like a fish swimming upstream because he thought he should.

He’d been such a fucking idiot.

He had to see her. Had to tell her how stupid he was. He had to beg for forgiveness.
He just had to get out from under Kris first.

“Are you both fucking insane?” Max was dragging Tanger off of him and Fleur and Jordy were offering him a hand up. His lip was busted open, his mouth and nose were bleeding and there was a pounding pain in the back of his head, but Sidney thought maybe he hadn’t been thinking this clear in months.

“I have to go,” he muttered, skating towards the exit, only to feel his legs, his knees, try to give out from beneath him.

“You’re going to the hospital,” Fleur replied in that quite matter of fact tone of his as he guided Sidney towards the bench.

“He’s right. Your melon took a hell of a bounce off the ice Creature. I think you’d better let him take you.”

“No...I have to see Mya,” Sidney muttered, wincing at the pain behind his eyes
“Later, maybe. Hospital first,” Fleur insisted and as Sidney’s skates hit the rubber matting he tried to shake his head, and then everything went black.

Chapter 8

I just want to say thankyou for your patience. I have had one hell of a week so if you have been waiting, thank you and I hope you will not be disappointed and also I hope you will give Sid a little break after reading this chapter.

Sidney stood over her grave, a dozen roses wrapped in cellophane in his hand. He couldn’t speak, or rather, he wouldn’t. What could he say? How do you apologize to a dead woman? How do you explain that you didn’t mean for something to happen, unless of course you did?

Closing his eyes, Sidney took a deep breath but the fresh oxygen caught in his throat and his hand shook as he began to peel the cellophane away from around the stems of the roses. He caught his finger on a thorn and swore quietly. Nothing seemed to be going right for him lately.

“I wish you could just tell me...give me some kind of sign. I mean if it’s what you want...the whole Mya thing,” he mumbled as he began placing the long stemmed red roses in the vase one by one. “Because if you do...if you did then I’ve probably totally screwed it up anyway,” he added with a sigh, twirling one of the dark green stems between his finger and thumb. “I mean if you did...then I should probably be mad at you. I mean...I’m clearly not ready for anything now. I mean...I wasn’t really ready for you but...it was just different with you.” He put the last of the roses in the vase and then knelt by the brass plaque and ran his fingertips lovingly over her name. “I loved you so much,” he whispered, the words catching on the ball of emotion that formed in his throat whenever he came here. “I just...how could I even give her or anyone else what’s left of...of my heart?” he asked, a tear escaping from the corner of his eye. He brushed at it impatiently with the back of his hand. “Why’d you have to go?” he asked, sniffing back a sob as his fingers slid over the now familiar raised pattern of the letters, slightly shinier than the rest of the plaque from where his fingers trailed over her name so often. “I don’t know what to do Rand...I wish...I wish you were here.”

Pushing himself up to his feet, Sidney brushed at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket and turned and headed away from the silent grave that gave him no answers but tugged at his heart in a way that was almost too painful to bear.

__________________________________________________________________________

He was waiting for her when she walked out into the alley after her shift, perched on the hood of his car, arms crossed, watching the alley like a hawk. Mya flipped the loose end of her scarf over her shoulder and strode forward into the wind that whistled eerily around her, clutching at loose strands of her hair and sending them whipping against her cheeks, stinging where they struck. The wind clutched at the hem of her jacket, wrapping it around her legs as if it were a live thing, as if it were trying to trip her up.

“No one claimed it,” Kris said firmly, holding the money out towards her, folded neatly in his hand. “You may as well take it.” Mya stared at the stack of folded green bills, chewing on her lip as she considered the ramifications. “Whoever he is, he already got the message that you didn’t immediately go on a spending spree, oui?” he said, thrusting the bills towards her and raising his eyebrow. “You may as well take it now.” Reluctantly Mya held out her hand, palm up and Kris put the money down on her hand, folding her fingers over it. She looked down at his hand covering hers’ and then up into his dark eyes. “You’re not going to tell me what this is about are you?”

“He’s your friend, your teammate. You’d only take his side,” she said quietly, withdrawing her hand from his and reaching to slip the money into her purse.

“You seem certain about that.” She looked up to find him standing straight up, his body almost pressed against hers’. She looked up into his face and saw a flash of fierce protectiveness in his eyes. It made her knees weak.

“You have to work with him...I would understand,” she continued but fell silent when he captured her face in his hands and kissed her, ardently, his lips moving hungrily over hers, teeth knocking, tongues dancing as she reached to hold onto him, eager to be held. Still holding her face in his hands, he unlocked his lips from hers’ and stared down at her, his eyes wild with desire.

“I worked hard to be here and I don’t want to be sent back down to Wilkes, but I won’t just give up what’s mine to someone else. I don’t care if it’s Sidney fucking Crosby.” Mya felt her breath catch in her throat, and fought to keep the truth from her eyes even as his gaze searched hers’. As angry as she was she’d had time to think and there had been something in the way he’d made love to her...if she could even call it that, that had her wondering.

“What’s yours?” she asked, blocking out all the rest and batting her eyelashes playfully at him instead.

“I’m very competitive,” he admitted with a feral grin that sent a shiver down her spine. If only he knew.

“I can see that,” she replied quietly, her gaze travelling slowly from his lips up to his eyes and down again. Taking the hint, he captured her lips in his and kissed her slowly, leisurely, his tongue slipping between her lips and curling around her own. His moustache tickled. It should have made her toes curl. It should have made her knees turn to Jello but all she could think about was another kiss that had lit a fire inside of her that was yet to go out, no matter how hard she tried to extinguish it. “Maybe that’s why, no matter how many times you kiss me, I’m still not going to tell you.” With a half a smile he bowed his head and his dark hair fell over his eyes as he shook it.

“Will you at least tell me...,” he fell silent as she leaned in to kiss him, pressing her lips lightly against his.

“Either take me to dinner or take me home. Those are your choices.” With a sigh and a wry smile, he agreed, turning and opening the car door for her with a flourish, bowing over his hand, all the while watching her, mischief making his dark eyes dance.

“My lady’s chariot awaits,” he grinned, closing the door and whistling as he walked around the car. Mya watched him, enjoying the view. He looked good in those jeans. She liked the way they hugged his muscular thighs. Yes, she thought, the view was more than satisfactory. She just wished that her heart would beat just a little faster when she looked at him, or when he kissed her but it seemed her heart only beat faster for another.

She hoped her heart would learn in time as he slid behind the wheel and glanced over at her, desire clear in his eyes.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Mon Capitain, une autre?” Max pushed another shot of Patron towards Sidney, watching with seemingly rapt fascination as the usual controlled exterior of his friend and team captain crumbled beneath the weight of grief and alcohol. Sidney downed the shot and wiped his mouth along his sleeve, pushing the glass back towards Max who raised his eyebrow in query. “Encore?”

“Yes another!” Sidney grumbled, pushing the shot glass closer to the bottle, eschewing the salt and the lime. He was passed caring about the bitter taste of the golden liquid, he was only concerned about reaching oblivion sooner rather than later.

“Mon ami, je pense que tu as eu assez,” Fleury suggested quietly, laying his hand gently on Sidney’s shoulder. Sidney shrugged off the young goaltender’s hand and gave the shot glass another shove, wincing at the clinking sound the two pieces of glass made.

“At least slow it down there Creature,” Jordy piped up from behind him where he was hooked up to the Xbox. Sidney turned on the bar stool and stared at him, wondering how in the hell his tall blonde friend was going to be a father in a few months when he was still more likely to be found attached to a video game or a beer bottle.

“You should talk,” Sidney pointed at his tall friend; the single movement almost making him slip off of the chrome and leather bar stool. “Why are you even here dude? You have someone to go home to. Why aren’t you there?” Jordan turned and regarded Sidney with a bemused grin and then went back to racing his viper through the streets of San Francisco.

“My chick has hormone issues. I’m safer here but I’m not drinking my head off,” he added, raising his half empty beer bottle for all to see before putting it back down and putting both hands on the controller.

“What...what about you?” Sidney asked, turning his attention to Fleur, his speech beginning to become slurred. “You have Vero...she’s so nice. Sooo nice.”

“He’s going to start saying ‘I love you man’ soon,” Jordy called without looking away from his game and Max snorted in response. Sidney looked from one to the other with narrowed eyes and started to stand, intending to argue, but the room spun around him and he settled back onto the stool, holding on to the edge of the bar to steady himself.

“Tu as eu assez tout à fait,” Fleur decided, wrenching the bottle from Max’s hand and sweeping the shot glass away from Sidney’s hand. “No more and you’re sleeping here.”

“Nooo, noo, you don’t understand. You all have someone. I have no one,” Sidney moaned, dropping his forehead down onto the back of his hands.

“Max doesn’t,” Jordy pointed out helpfully.

“He doesn’t want anyone, doesn’t count,” Sidney countered miserably, his voice muffled. “I want someone...someone like Vero, someone to come home to, to be there.” He looked up at Fleur who looked back at him with sympathy. But then Fleur was always the understanding one. Fleur understood. “Is it too much to ask?”

“No mon ami,” Fleur replied quietly, coming around the bar to put his hand on Sidney’s arm. “I’m not sure you’re ready for someone mon ami. Tu es toujours trop triste, que tu pense?” Sidney hung his head and let out a long low sigh.

“I miss her,” he whispered, feeling Marc’s grip on his arm tighten in response.

“Je sais mon ami,” the young Frenchman replied quietly as Sidney looked up at him, hating that he was about to cry in front of his friends. “Of course you do mon ami, of course you do.”

“I told him he just needs to get laid,” Max offered, as if Sidney wasn’t sitting just there. He narrowed his eyes at Max who held up his hands defensively and laughed nervously.

“I tried, okay? J’ai essayé. It didn’t work...it’s...it’s too hard. It just fucked with my head. I like the girl too much,” Sidney snarled, dropping his head into his hands again and rubbing at his eyes, hating how weak he felt.

“Oh god, you went after Miss P.E.I. didn’t you?” Max groaned, laughing again, but this time at his expense. Sidney looked up at him and again Max held up his hands in supplication. “What? Did I tell you to do it with someone you know? Es-tu fou? Pick a girl, any girl from outside the arena, a bar...fuck Sid! Complicate shit much?”

“Who’s this?” Jordy asked, putting down the controller, suddenly interested.

“This hottie he met on vacation. She’s going to school here,” Max explained before Sidney could even open his mouth, despite the dark look he shot at his friend.

“And you fucked her? Nice,” Jordy laughed, nodding, like it was a good thing.

“No...no, not nice,” Sidney replied, pressing hard against his throbbing temples. “You don’t get it. None of you get it. I could have something with her. I think I could even fall in love with her but now I’ve screwed it all up beyond fucking belief.”

“You don’t know that,” Fleur offered softly. “Pas à coup sûr.”

“I do...I fucking ran like an idiot. I left her...and I...I just fucked up okay?” he grumbled, kneading at his sore head, swallowing the information about the money he’d left behind. It was bad enough someone else knew, he didn’t need anyone else to know and he was fairly sure if one of these three knew they’d have said something by now. “She probably hates me. I hate me.”

“You could always try apologizing. I’m told it works,” Max offered, glancing towards Jordy who shot him an evil look.

“What did I say about her hormones? I can’t keep apologizing for shit I haven’t done,” Jordy shot back, turning back to his game.

“He’s right,” Fleur said quietly. Sidney turned to look at his friend and nodded. He could go back and apologize. God knows he should. He just didn’t know what to say. How could he explain how impossibly fucked up he was? How could he possibly ask her to believe he hadn’t meant anything by leaving the money on the floor? “Just try. What have you got to lose?”

“My sanity?” Sidney offered quietly, closing his eyes and leaning his head on the bar. “That is, if I haven’t lost it already.”

___________________________________________________________________

Mya’s eyes fluttered closed and she bit down on her bottom lip as his kisses blazed a trail of fire down her neck. She concentrated on trying to wake the butterflies in her stomach she had felt when first he’d kissed her but as hard as she tried, and as ardent as he was, she felt nothing more than the faintest of fluttering as his hand moved gingerly up over her breast.

She should want him. There was no reason not to. He was handsome and attentive and generous and if she was completely honest, the whole possessive thing was a turn on and yet, she felt nothing. Not even as it became unmistakably apparent how much he wanted her, the hard thickness of him straining against his jeans, grinding into her thigh as he kissed his way over her collarbone.

She should be hot, panting, dragging him into her apartment. She should be tearing at his clothes.

Instead, she pressed her hand flat against his chest and pushed.

He looked up at her with a wide eyed ‘are you fucking kidding me’ look and Mya winced. It was no use telling him she was as disappointed as he looked. She could well imagine his dark hair falling into her face as his athletic body moved over hers’ and there was not a doubt in her mind that he would be a skilled and thorough lover.

But she couldn’t do it. He was too sweet, too nice, too much of a gentleman to take him into her apartment just to fake it or worse, to end up with that awkward moment afterwards when he would realize that she’d been thinking of someone else the entire time, because she already had been. As he’d kissed her, she’d shut her eyes and called up the wavy dark hair and pale skin of his teammate and felt the butterflies rise to his call.

But she wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t. It was as simple as that.

“Goodnight Kris,” she whispered, offering him a quick peck on the cheek as he stood there, staring back at her, stunned into silence. She dug her keys out of her purse and hurried into her apartment before she changed her mind and dragged him in after her to feed the need that she was trying hard to ignore.

Leaning against the door, Mya closed her eyes and cursed the hazel eyed boy wonder who had stolen her heart. It was the last thing he deserved.