Chapter 10

thank you first and foremost to everyone who's been sending me their hillarous notes on this, thank you! And thank you for your patience. I promise I won't torture Sid too much longer!

“Just like that?” Max was staring at Kris, looking shocked and it seemed to Sidney that they all were as the normally quiet or at the very most playful Tanger sat in his stall looking like a little black raincloud. Sidney didn’t remember seeing him like this since the death of his friend Luc Bourdon.

“Yeah, just like that. We had the best sex of my entire life, and the next thing I know I’m waking up with her handing me a glass of orange juice and telling me that she’s breaking up with me.” Tanger was staring at a spot on the carpet between his feet, his hand hanging loose between his knees, still in his street clothes while everyone else was either half way or fully into their gear. Girlfriend or not, Sidney thought to himself as he laced up his left skate, Tanger had better get a move on or he was going to be doing wind sprints for being late.

“Maybe it was just nerves,” Jordan was pointing out helpfully. “I mean you waited a long time to get her to sleep with you. Maybe she was just worried now that you had what you wanted....”

“Yeah, I thought of that,” Tanger sighed, finally dragging his sweater over his head and laying it on the bench next to him. “I think maybe she was expecting me to say it you know?” he continued, looking up his tall blonde teammate who nodded as if he understood exactly what Tanger was saying. Sidney looked up at Jordan and then back at Tanger and then went back to his skates, deciding against asking for details. After all, he had enough women problems of his own.

“We’ll tu es dans l’amour avec la fille so why didn’t you just say so?” Max offered in his best Frenglish, his full brows lowering over his eyes as he shook his head at his friend before getting to his feet and slapping his stick against Tanger’s as yet unprotected shins. Tanger winced and shot Max a dirty look.

“Hello? She’s the one who’s been withholding everything. Why should I say it first? Put myself out there like that...she broke up with me. Or did you miss that part?” he asked, getting to his feet and turning his back on all of them, reaching for his under gear as if that was it, case closed.

“So that’s it? She’s available?” Max asked, stepping just out of reach as Tanger wielded his shoulder pads like a pair of nun-chucks.

“No she’s not. I talked her out of it. She said she thought there might be a problem with her job if we got serious so I told her it wasn’t it isn’t serious, that she didn’t need to worry about my parents finding out she’s a stripper just yet. I played it cool. So no, she’s not fucking available, tu foutu idiot!”

Max was ducking and diving like a prize fighter as Tanger went after him and the rest of the room cheered Tanger on. Sidney took his stick and went out into the hall to tape it. He had enough on his mind. He didn’t need to get involved in other people’s problems.

Strippers, families...Sidney shook his head as he wound the tape around the grip of his stick. He knew the guys wouldn’t think his problems were that serious in comparison, but his heart knew better.

He’d sat outside her apartment last night, watched her light come on in the middle of the night. He thought maybe that meant she couldn’t sleep either, that maybe she was thinking of him too, but he hadn’t managed to gather the courage to actually buzz her apartment. He knew if he left it much longer that she probably wouldn’t even give him a chance to explain, if she even would now.

Would he, if he was in her shoes, he wondered as he twirled the tape to make the grips he preferred. No, he probably wouldn’t he had to admit. Too much time had passed. There would be no other way to think about what he’d done other than what she must already think. That he’d just used her.

He’d even written a letter. It was still in his car. He’d almost put it through the mail slot in the front door last night. He’d actually gotten out of his Land Rover to do it. He’d walked right up to the steps before he’d realized that anyone might pick it up and read it. He only had her name to put on it, her name and apartment number. That didn’t guarantee that she would get it, that no one else would read it.
So he’d turned around and gone home and lay awake in his own bed, staring at the ceiling until it was time to come to practice. He was dog tired. He couldn’t keep doing this, he knew it, and yet every time he told himself to just give up on it all...something in the back of his brain told him that he couldn’t.

“Hey space case.” Sidney looked up to find Jordan grinning curiously at him. “You look dead tired. Been up jacking off to porn too late?”

“Beating Ovie’s ass on NHL 09 more like,” Sidney lied, grinning back at his friend. Jordan threw back his head and laughed and then turned towards the ice. Taking a deep breath, Sidney squared his shoulders and followed him.

There was time enough to worry about this shit later. Hockey first.

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“You keep staring at that screen like that and you’ll go blind,” Hannah noted as she slid into the chair next to Mya at the make-up table. Mya grinned but didn’t look away from the glowing screen. She was on a roll.

“They’re going to give me some credentials and let me do some interviews at the Steelers game,” Mya explained. “I’m doing my research. I have no clue about football at all,” she added, scrolling down the huge list that made up the Steeler’s active roster. “I can’t believe there’s this many guys on one team.”

“So it is true,” Hannah observed, puckering her lips and applying a deep crimson stain to them, “all you Canadians care about is hockey.”

“Pretty much,” Mya laughed, opening up on the bios and leaning in to read the fine print. “That and curling, if you live on the Prairies.”

“Shuffle board on ice, sounds like a blast,” Cassidy added in her two cents, putting her high heel clad foot up on the chair next to Mya as she adjusted her garters. “Hey, speaking of ice, haven’t I seen you getting into a very nice car lately? With some cutie patootie that plays for the Pens?” Mya rolled her eyes but nodded. “Well give me a heads up if you’re going to interview them. You can take me into their changing room any time. I’d love to give that Sid kid a lap dance he won’t forget if you know what I mean.” All the girls in the room laughed but Mya bristled. Her protective instincts began to surface, but she shoved them back down, silently counting to ten.

“Do you think Kris would mind if I gave the Kid a lap dance?” she asked, playing along, and was rewarded by barks of raucous laughter.

“If he does, then hand him over girlfriend,” Hannah snorted, making a ‘come hither’ Mae West face in the mirror. “I could definitely teach that little Frenchie a thing or two.” Mya laughed but inside she thought to herself that no one knew how much she wished she could just hand him off to someone.

If only it were that easy, she thought to herself as she closed her laptop and reached for her red wig. He’d practically begged for her not to break up with him with heartfelt assurances that his mother would like her just as much as he does and that she had nothing to worry about on that score, that they would never judge her for having to pay her own way through school.

She’d really thought she had the perfect out. She’d been so sure that he would have to admit his Catholic parents would never approve of his relationship with her. Once he’d talked around her only argument, Mya had had nothing to come back with, no real reason to continue the argument.

Well that wasn’t true she thought as picked up her blow up fire hydrant and headed for the stage. She could always tell him that she’d had sex with his teammate.
She just wasn’t ready to play that card yet and she wasn’t sure if she ever was going to be.
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“Don’t forget, your paper on the founders of baseball is due next class!” she called after the retreating students who’d actually stayed for her study group. This was the part she liked best about being a teacher’s aid. It was like practice for actually doing the job itself. Not that she ever saw herself as a teacher, but it was good to get feedback and hear other people’s opinions. Plus, she’d been able to pickt he brains of a few of the other students about the Steelers players and she was pretty sure she had some fairly good insight into some of the star players now. At least she wouldn’t be entirely useless by the weekend when she’d finally be doing some live interviews. She couldn’t believe how much she was looking forward to it.
The anticipation almost made her forget about the horrible mess she was making out of the rest of her life. Unfortunately, the rest of her life was waiting outside the room to take her home. She’d seen Kris peek in the door a few minutes ago.
He was prompt and attentive. She had to give him that.

“You don’t have to do this you know,” Mya said quietly as she heard his footfalls on the floor behind her as the last of the students strolled out the door.

“It’s dangerous out there at night. I can’t have my girlfriend wandering the streets now can I?” he asked, his voice husky as he slid his arms around her waist, pressing the width of his chest to her back, his lips falling on the curve of her neck.

“Public transit is perfectly safe,” Mya muttered, closing her eyes and fighting the urge to peel his hands off of her midsection and maybe breaking a finger or two in the process. It wasn’t that she was repulsed by his touch, the opposite was true. It was just that she didn’t melt into his arms either.

“Not as safe as my car,” he whispered, biting down on her earlobe which sent an involuntary shiver down her spine, making him chuckle.

“And what am I supposed to do when you have a game or you’re on the road?” she asked, wriggling free of his grasp and returning to stacking and filing her notes before putting all of her books in her book bag which he immediately took out of her hand. She stared at the brown leather satchel and then up into his dark eyes and bit back her immediate retort. He was trying to be solicitous and chivalrous. She didn’t need to be rude in return.

“Take a taxi,” he suggested, putting his hand on the small of her back and leading her out of the room.

“Yeah, just what I need to do when I’m trying to save all my pennies,” she muttered, opening her umbrella as soon as they emerged into the winter weather. His hand slid from the small of her back around her waist as he drew her close, huddling under the umbrella with her. Mya told herself to breathe, not to let herself get irritated. After all, he’d done nothing to incur her wrath and yet she felt herself withdraw from his touch, and half way out to the parking lot she stopped in her tracks, shaking her head. “I’m sorry Kris. I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” he asked, moving back so that he was under the umbrella with her. Mya took another step back, drew a long slow breath and then looked over at him.

“I can’t do this to you. I can’t pretend anymore.” He looked crestfallen and confused and her heart ached to see his handsome features altered in that way, but she couldn’t make herself feel something that she didn’t. It wasn’t fair to either of them. “I don’t know how to make this any easier. I adore you Kris...but there’s someone else.”

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He drummed his palms against the steering wheel in time to the Nickelback song on the radio as he sat in the parking lot, watching the rain beat down on the windshield. He wasn’t sure how he’d ended up here, but it wasn’t the first time. He’d told himself, the last time he’d found himself sitting outside of the campus, that maybe he’d go in and look into taking a course or two, but he never did. He never went in. He just sat in his Land Rover and stared at the doors, waiting for her to come out.

He’d explained it away, this urge to watch her, by telling himself that it was only because she reminded him of Randi with her green eyes and dark hair. He never even got out of the car or spoke to her. He just watched her walk to the bus stop, chatting with her fellow students, or, on days that were nicer than this, watched her leave on her bike. He didn’t even follow her to wherever it was that she lived.
He’d just go home, or out with the guys, or wherever he was going after her class and forget about her.

Well no. That wasn’t strictly true.

He didn’t forget about her. He just pushed any thoughts of her to the back of his mind; sure it was somehow unfair to Randi’s memory to think of anyone else. Which was the same reason that he’d left PEI without letting her know, without talking to her again and why he’d run out on her that night. It was too soon and really, the only reason he’d felt anything at all was because she reminded him of Randi.

Yet, here he was, sitting in his car, in the rain, waiting just to catch a glimpse of her, of Mya.

Guilt sat in the pit of his stomach like a brick as he watched her push the door open, chatting animatedly as she crossed the courtyard towards the parking lot. Sid reached to turn the keys in the ignition before his hand froze mid motion. She wasn’t with just another one of the regular students, the ones who wore the regular thrift store student clothes. She was with someone he recognized.

She was with Tanger and if she was with him that meant that she was...the stripper.
His blood boiled in his veins. First, to see Tanger with his arm possessively around her and secondly to know that she’d let just anyone see the body that haunted his dreams. He wanted her. He wanted her all to himself. He hated it, but he knew it was true.

Stuffing his keys in his pocket, Sidney found himself walking across the parking lot, ignoring the beating rain that plastered his dark hair to his face, only pausing when he saw her step backwards. She’d seen him. She was going to run.

But no, she was looking straight at Tanger and he couldn’t tell what she was saying. The umbrella shaded her face. He wished he could see Tanger’s face. His reactions he knew, just like he knew those of most of the guys on the team and on other teams. It was part of knowing the game, being able to read people.

Would she be angry? Of course she would, Sidney thought as he slowed his pace, unsure now of what he was going to do, what he’d say when he got between them. Would he actually fight his friend for her? Why was he even doing this? She wasn’t the kind of girl he could even see himself with....

Then her eyes met his, over Tanger’s shoulder and she smiled. She actually smiled and then she was walking towards him and he froze in his tracks, taken entirely off guard.

“Play along,” she whispered, throwing her arms around his neck, her green eyes searching his for a brief moment before she laid a kiss on him that made his insides turn into silly putty.