Chapter 4

Chapter 4

“I want you to take me to the Fall formal.”

Sidney averted his eyes as soon as he opened the door to his room, assuming that whatever it was Lauren was wearing that left almost nothing to the imagination was lingerie. Now that she’d said something about a dance, Sidney allowed himself a quick peek and realized that though it was nothing like the girls would have worn back at Shattucks it was a dress, though the light blue coloured satin clung to Lauren’s burgeoning curves and made it quite obvious that she was wearing absolutely nothing beneath it.

“You know I can’t do stuff like that,” he muttered, trying to find the right tone that wouldn’t send her crying to her mother but would make her leave. “Besides I have a game in a couple days and....”

“I checked the schedule, you don’t have a game on Friday, you can go,” Lauren replied matter-of-factly, as if that made it alright, which of course it did not.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I can’t do stuff like that,” Sidney reiterated as he tossed his keys into the ceramic bowl near the door and headed for his bathroom, fully intending on slamming the door shut on her and locking it.

“You can for me. I mean you couldn’t for just anyone but, hello? This is me. I’m Mario’s daughter. Everyone expects it.” Sidney stopped in his tracks, his hand hovering above the door handle, trying to make sense out of what he was hearing. He’d heard some rumblings, internet rumours mostly, that had him ‘saving himself’ for when Lauren became legal. The guys in the room thought it was funny but then they didn’t have to live with her. He’d done his best to ignore her flirtatious ways and not to give her any reason to treat him as anything but a big brother but it had become a loosing battle lately.

Like at the barbeque, after they’d won the Cup. He’d gotten himself so drunk, trying to drown all his thoughts and memories of Randi, that Lauren had nearly ended up in his bed. She’d been so sympathetic and sweet that through the haze of JD and tequila, when she’d suggested it, it had almost seemed like a good idea. It was only by the intervention of the couple of fathers, Gill and Geurin, that had helped avert disaster by putting the Cup in his arms and pretty much carrying him off to bed.

And then the pictures had shown up on her face book page.

Mario was obviously right. It was time for him to find his own space, away from Lauren. It was best for her and it was definitely best for him.

“No Lauren. I can’t go,” he contemplated his next words carefully but decided that it would hurt her less if he said them than if he didn’t. “I have a date that night.”
“A date? You cry yourself to sleep like...every night. You said you weren’t going to date anymore for like...a while.”

Sidney nodded. Of course it was true. He couldn’t see himself letting down his guard to anyone, not for a long time. Because everyone he let himself care about was taken away. So no, he wasn’t going to date, but he could maybe go for coffee. Maybe he owed her an explanation.

“I have a date with Mya. Sorry Lauren,” he said quietly, pulling the door open to the bathroom and stepping inside, shutting the door behind him and turning the lock. He needed to make a couple of calls. One to Tish and Jordy because he was going to need the keys to Randi’s apartment and the second...he pulled his phone out of his pocket and began searching through his address book. He was sure her number was still in there, somewhere.

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Mya stared down at her phone in utter disbelief. She was walking towards Kris’s car with the handsome Frenchman leaning against it, his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest, looking very dishy indeed but that wasn’t what was making her heart do aerobics in her chest.

“Hello?” she winced at the sound of her own voice, sounding higher than she’d ever heard come out of her mouth before.

“Mya...hi...it’s Sidney...Crosby,” he began and she bit back the retort that came to her mind first. Of course it is you idiot. You programmed your number into my phone, who else would it be?

“How are you?” she asked, trying to lower the timbre of her own voice and going for cool, composed, calm despite the fact that her heart was still hammering like crazy in her chest.

“Uh...okay. Look the other day...I mean...at the cemetery. I was just...well look I think we sort of got off on the wrong foot and...well, no it was me. Anyway what I meant was I wanted to apologize if I was a bit of a jerk.” Mya bit down on the inside of her cheek and tried not to giggle. She was supposed to be the one all flustered and tongue tied, not the sexiest man on earth.

“I caught you off guard. It’s fine,” she responded, still biting down on her bottom lip to stop from smiling too wide. Kris was watching her now, wondering why she’d stopped, and she had to turn around and put her back to him to hide how red her face was becoming.

“Well I wanted to apologize properly. I thought we could maybe go for coffee and start again.” Mya took a deep breath to stop herself from saying something idiotic like ‘yes please’ and doing a little Irish jig right on the spot. Instead she managed to keep her voice under control, just.

“That would be nice,” she said at last, still having to bite down on her lip to stop from grinning.

“Say Friday?” he asked and Mya made a face. Friday was her busiest day. She had class and then work. Still....

“Well I have an opening at four before I go to work. If you want to meet me the campus...if that’s okay?” she asked, wincing once again as she thought about the attention he might garner around a bunch of eighteen and nineteen year old girls. Not to mention all the sports crazy young men. She opened her mouth to suggest somewhere else but he was already saying yes.

“Sounds good. Anywhere in particular I can meet you there?” Mya gave him directions to the entrance closest to where her class was and began to walk towards Kris’s car. By the time she was putting her phone back in her pocket Kris was holding the passenger door open for her and watching her curiously.

“Just meeting a friend after class on Friday,” she explained brightly, meeting his dark curious gaze. He nodded, saying nothing as he closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side. ‘Just great’, she thought as he slid behind the wheel and started the car, ‘I hardly know either of them and I’m already lying my head off.’ It wasn’t a good start. She had to admit it and yet she couldn’t stop smiling either.

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“You don’t have to do this you know.”

Sidney’s hand shook as he put the key in the deadbolt but he wasn’t going to back out now. He was determined to go through with it. After all, what choice did he have really? He couldn’t go back to Mario’s. Not after what had happened with Lauren.

“You know it’s not going to be the same. Like all her clothes are gone and I changed the sheets and a lot her knick knacks are gone...,” Tish continued, as if what she was saying was going to change the fact that he had to do this. He had to go inside. He had made the decision, this was where he was going to live, for the time being anyway, and it was too late to change his mind.

He noticed Jordan said nothing but then Jordan had said very little to him since that night. Like lot of the guys, Jordan had kept his distance through the summer. Even Flower, and they were supposed to be best friends. But then they both had their significant others and he did not, not anymore.

Sidney pushed the door open and held his breath. It was crazy, he knew, and he knew it wasn’t going to really happen but there was a part of him that hoped, that expected, Randi to be there, on the couch, waiting for him. His chest grew tight as he walked into the darkened, empty room.

She wasn’t here. She really wasn’t here.

Sure, it didn’t look altogether different. The furniture was all the same, and her books were on the bookshelf, her cds and dvd’s had been picked through, he could see but a lot of them were still there. But she wasn’t there. He couldn’t even feel her here. He couldn’t smell her. It smelled too clean, antiseptic, bleach, and furniture wax filled the air.

She was gone.

He ran his hand along the back of the couch, memories flooding his mind. He could hear them moving around him, knew they were turning on lights, turning on the heat, pulling dust covers off, but he didn’t really care. He had his eyes closed, calling her face into his mind.

He could see her smiling up at him now, her emerald eyes glittering, her soft sweet lips ripe and waiting. God he missed her.

He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he didn’t even try to fight them. He’d cried in front of Tish and Jordan before and he suspected he might again. He didn’t even try to break away when he felt Tish’s arms around him. In fact he leaned into her and allowed her to hold him. There had been a time when the two of them were like cats and dogs but that was yesterday. Now she was Jordy’s girl, going to be Jordy’s wife if he had anything to say about. Besides, she was his living link to Randi.

“Jay and I can stay here tonight, if you don’t want to be alone?” she offered but Sidney shook his head. He actually wanted to be alone tonight, alone with his memories, maybe it would help. Maybe it wouldn’t, but he had to try.

“Thanks but I think I’ll be okay.” He looked over to where Jordy was dropping his bags. He’d unpack tomorrow, if he made it through the night.

“I’ll take her away,” Jordan offered, holding his hand out for Tish to take. “It’s the hormones. They make her very maternal.”

“Hormones hey? So I can’t do anything nice, is that what you’re trying to say Jay-boy, because if it is I’ll give you hormones. Oh yeah I will show you what hormones do,” Tish snarled, advancing on her grinning boyfriend with her claws out. Jordan just laughed and Sidney couldn’t help but grin at the two of them. They seemed perfect for one another.
He’d almost had that, once.

“Thanks for coming with me though. See you at the rink tomorrow,” Sidney sighed, watching them go with a certain amount of apprehension.

And yet he knew he had no choice. He had to have his own space and he couldn’t see himself rambling around in a big house like he did back in Coal Harbour. It wouldn’t feel right. He wasn’t used to it. He hoped Randi understood. He hoped being close to her would make it easier to be alone.

With a sigh, he headed over to his bags and started for the bedroom.

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It had been quite a night Mya thought as her gaze was drawn to the crooked smile on the lips that she knew she was going to be kissing very soon. It had started with the promise from one of her professors of a part time job at one of the new stations as a writer, then Sidney Crosby had asked her out and now...well her young Frenchman had made her nearly forget about all of those things. He didn’t talk a lot, she’d noticed, but he did things to her with those dark brown eyes of his that made her legs get all rubbery.
There had to be a catch somewhere.

“So when do you do the whole I don’t want you stripping thing?” she asked as he leaned his forearm over her head and leaned towards her, his other hand holding hers, his thumb stroking across the back of her knuckles in a way that was almost like being hypnotized.

“I would never presume to tell you what to or not to do,” he said softly, his accent making it sound like he was reading poetry. “I come from a family of strong women. If I told you what to do, I’d be afraid of what they would do to me,” he added with a grin, before his expression turned serious again. “It’s your body, your job. I’m sure you make decent money from it. There’s only one thing I would ask,” he added, mischief making his dark eyes dance.

“What’s that?” she asked, feeling a little breathless as he leaned close enough that she could taste the whiskey he’d been drinking at dinner.

“Maybe you could not do it for my friends anymore, hmm?” he suggested, leaning in to press his lips over hers’. Mya felt her heart surge against her ribs as his chest pressed against her, as his hand let go of hers’ to slide around her waist, to bring her body up hard against his.

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Sidney leaned into the shower and stuck his hand under the spray, testing the heat of the water. Satisfied that it was warm enough but not too warm, he stepped onto the tiles, closing the sliding glass doors behind him. He stuck his head in the spray and tried not to think about anything. He had a game tomorrow. He had to get his head back on straight. He’d won the cup, but that was over now. This was a new season. He had to concentrate. He had to get down to business.

Opening his eyes again, Sidney reached for the shampoo Tish had put in the shower for him. It was a good thing she’d thought of it, he thought as he opened the bottle and the ripe scent of apples filled the air. He squeezed a little of the green liquid into his hand and turned to put the bottle back on the chrome shower caddie and then his heart stopped.
The steam in the shower had fogged up the glass, all but a childlike heart drawn in the steam with his initials in it.

His eyes filled with tears and a sob escaped from his lips as his fingers reached out towards the naively drawn heart. She’d put it there. Randi had drawn that heart and placed his initials in it because she loved him and he loved her and he always would.