Chapter 2

“You have a request,” Hannah grinned as she swept off the stage, an ice cream bucket stuffed with singles and fives swinging in her hand.

“What? I haven’t even gone on yet,” Mya mumbled, glancing over her shoulder at where one of the bouncers was waiting quietly to escort her to the private rooms near the back of the club. Her hands began to shake as she reached for the wig hanging on the edge of the mirror in front of her. She’d never done this back home but then she’d been new and the management at the Cecil had never made the newbies do lap dances or private shows.

Here everyone was expected to take her turn and Mya knew she couldn’t afford to turn down the tips that a private show would offer, no matter how nervous it made her feel.

Taking a deep breath, Mya tugged on the long red wig from her second outfit and buckled up her fitted black lycra ‘fire girl’ costume jacket and grabbed her red plastic fire hat. It was a cheesy costume but the guys always ate it up and Blush had a whole set that worked well for the police and fire outfits. It was kind of like dress up and Halloween all at the same time and made it almost fun.

Or at least that’s what she told herself as she followed the oversized over muscled bouncer through the back hallway where the only sound was the clicking of her knee high black boots on the concrete. The other women had told her that the guys really had to behave themselves, that she didn’t have anything to worry about, and, as she studied the steroid monkey’s back, she could believe he’d keep her safe. Still, she couldn’t help but worry a little as he unlocked the door to the back of the set and stood aside to let her in.

It was pitch dark, but Mya knew where the ladder was bolted to the wall and where the blow up hydrant was. She felt along the wall and found the long rubber hose and straddled it as the music came on and the lights came up.

She heard them before she worked up the courage to actually look out at the faces of the young men sitting at the edge of the private stage. They were the same ones that had been sitting in genecology row for her last two shows, the French boys as the other women called them. Mya breathed a little easier to see their big good natured grins as they cheered her on.

They seemed like okay guys and besides, they were big tippers. She wasn’t entirely sure what exactly it was they were saying all of the time and she was pretty sure some it was pretty dirty but they didn’t seem to mean anything by it.

Her apprehension trickled away as she danced. The more they cheered the more she enjoyed playing to them and she almost forgot that she was nude by the end of it when she reclined at the edge of the stage with the hose draped artfully across her lap. She held her plastic hat out and the four of them fell over each other to fill it.

They made her laugh with their four stooges routine. They reminded her of some of the guys at college. They were young and handsome, if better dressed, unruly and loud. She liked them. But they were customers and she was the dancer and that was a line she wasn’t about to cross.

“Hey Sugar, baby, how about a lap dance?” the most burly but shortest one asked as he stuffed what looked curiously like a hundred dollar bill into her hat.

“Maybe some other time,” Mya laughed as he waggled his thick eyebrows at her. “I have to go on the big stage soon.” In fact Mya could hear the dj calling for her already. She was going to have to use the same costume. “But maybe if you’re here tomorrow?” she added, glancing at the longer haired, pale friend with the wide happy grin. She could easily imagine herself draped over his lap.

“Did you hear that Tanger? Looks like we’ll be having lunch here again tomorrow.”
Mya held the gaze of the one with the long dark hair and the dark, soulful brown eyes.

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
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Pressing her fingers to her lips, Mya pressed a kiss to the faded brass plaque and smiled. She felt better for having come to this place. There’d been something missing since she’d arrived in the city and now Mya felt like maybe she knew what it was. Her namesake, her favourite Aunt, lay beneath the grass she was sitting on. It had been too long she decided as she finally withdrew her hand from the cool metal, even as she continued to gaze down on it.

She hadn’t been there when her Aunt died. In actual fact her Aunt had forbidden her from getting out of her exams to come and sit by her bedside. ‘You don’t want to see me like this kiddo’, she’d said over the phone, followed by one of those twenty questions sessions that she’d grown used to.

Did she have a boyfriend? Was he cute? How was school? Were her profs assholes? Was there anyone cute in her class?

Mya smiled as she remembered their last conversation. It hadn’t been like Auntie M was dying at all. It had been just like it had always been, like talking to a best friend, which was really what she thought of when she thought about her Aunt who had only been a few years older than herself. The ‘oopsie’ the family called her, the mistake. Years younger than her other siblings, she’d been Mya’s babysitter and co conspirator. She had helped her sneak out on covert dates, had even supplied the beer for a couple of secret parties when her parents had been away.

Auntie M had been the coolest Aunt anyone had ever had. It had almost broken Mya’s heart when she’d moved away to marry an American soldier she’d met on vacation. Not that she could blame her. Steve was tall and well built and had the most perfectly white teeth she’d ever seen. He was one of those über handsome all American football hero types and he’d loved Auntie M like crazy.

Mya hoped she’d find her own prince charming one day. She’d almost thought she had in PEI but....

Shaking her head and laughing at the direction her thoughts had taken, Mya pushed herself up to her feet and checked her watch. She had to be at class soon but she had a couple of stops to make on the way still. She turned to Steve pacing not too far from where she was standing. It was hard for him to be here still, even after a year she knew. He said he didn’t find it comforting or anything like that, and besides, he’d added with a twinkle in his eye as they’d driven here, if he wanted to talk to her Aunt all he had to do was close his eyes.

Mya had decided she didn’t want to know what he was thinking about that made him smile that way.

Glancing back towards the plaque, Mya bent to put the flowers she’d brought into the little glass vase that sat on the corner of it when something caught her eye. No, not something she decided, but someone. She might not have recognized him right away when they’d met in PEI, but with him and his comrades constantly in the local news, Mya now knew with absolute certainty exactly who she was looking at now.

She watched as he repeated the motion she’d done earlier, pressing his full lips to his fingertips and then in turn pressing his fingers against the plaque beside which he was sitting. She felt her heart flutter in her chest, a feeling as light as butterfly wings. The mixture of acute sadness and adoration in his face touched something in her and Mya couldn’t help but smile.

Handsome and sweet, Mya was beginning to think maybe he wasn’t as big a jerk as she had thought.
She should leave him be. He was obviously having a private moment. It would be rude to intrude. She turned to go but he looked up and their gazes met and Mya couldn’t help but smile.

He was so handsome.
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“So they tried me at wing and I mean, I can play wing, that’s not a problem but I just don’t know why they can’t find me two wingers instead of putting Max at centre. I’m better at face offs than he is anyway. I wish I could just have Army back. You never met him, but you’d like him,” Sidney grinned as finished pulling the few weeds the gardeners had missed around her plaque. He made a little pile out of them, intending to toss them in the garbage on his way out. “So did Tish tell you? She’s pregnant. Gronk’s all excited. He can’t wait to have his own Tim-bits team. He wants to get married but you know Tish. She says she doesn’t want all that and he doesn’t have to marry her just because she’s pregnant but I think they’ll end up doing it. Maybe not now. Maybe after the season.” Taking the bouquet he’d bought on the way here, he unwrapped its paper covering and reached for wilted bouquet that was in the ceramic vase Natalie had given him to put here. He put the wilted flowers on the paper and tossed the weeds in with them and then slipped the new flowers in the vase. This was his routine now. Chat. Flowers. Sit and think for a while and then leave her with a kiss.

Unfortunately he didn’t have time for the sit and think today though. Today they had afternoon practice too.

The season started soon. He could feel it in the crisp air and see it in the leaves on the trees turning their autumn colours of red and orange and yellow. Soon there would leaves scattered on her grave. Time was passing and yet it still felt like only yesterday that he’d held her in his arms, like it was only a few days ago that he’d won the cup. But time was passing and yet it seemed to stop when he was here.

“Sorry I have to go so soon babes,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to his fingertips before transferring it to the grave marker, his hand covering her name. He could feel the remnants of the sun on it where the metal held onto the heat. “I have to be back at the rink soon and I promised I’d meet Jordy at a jewellers. He doesn’t trust his own taste and I think I agree with him,” he grinned, imagining Jordy getting something out of a bubblegum machine and being happy with it. “I’ll see you in a couple days, I promise,” he added, getting to his feet and dusting off his jeans. He turned to head up the path towards his Land Rover when he saw a familiar face smiling up the hill at him.

Mya.

He felt his heart pause in his chest and he looked around for some way of disappearing.

It was childish, he knew, but all the same, he looked around for a bush to hide behind, an empty grave to jump into. He didn’t want to see her, especially not here.
This was the same reason he’d never showed up for the dinner he’d asked her out for. He wasn’t ready, it was too soon and it was unfair to Randi’s memory. He was still in love with Randi and yet, when he’d been with Mya, it had been easy to forget and he didn’t want to forget. Even though there were people, friends, that thought he should move on, that he was too young to tie himself to a memory, he disagreed. Whether anyone else understood it or not, he was still in love with Randi and he didn’t see that changing. Not anytime soon and that meant not being around Mya.

Not that it was her fault that she was beautiful and funny and a little outrageous but he was sure the only reason he felt attracted to her was that she reminded him of Randi and he’d made up his mind that he wasn’t going to lead her on and he wasn’t going to have one of those meaningless rebound relationships to make himself feel better. He wanted to feel the pain. Pain was good. No pain no gain and he didn’t feel the pain when he was with Mya.

But it would be just plain rude not to at least say hello and he did have to leave soon so it wasn’t like he could even ask her for coffee. He had a perfect out.

He made his feet move, putting one foot in front of the other, telling himself this was no worse than having to talk to reporters after a loss. Better, in fact, because she was pretty, a hell of a lot nicer to look at than most of the middle aged, balding sports reporters he dealt with on a regular basis.

“Hey,” she called as he drew near, her lips turning up in a warm smile.

“Hi yourself,” he managed, the scent of flowers from the graves around them suddenly changing to something more exotic, spice laden, her scent. He’d smelled it before, in P.E.I. It had filled his head then, making him think of things that he didn’t want to think about. Things that made him feel like he was tarnishing Randi’s memory. “I’m sorry I didn’t call,” he began but she smiled and shook her head.

“You’re a busy guy. I watch the news,” she replied biting down on her bottom lip, like she was trying not to laugh. He felt himself grinning in response. The news...yeah, he guessed he’d been on the news a lot lately, too much if anyone bothered to ask him. “So...is that a...was that a friend?” she asked, glancing over his shoulder and waving her hand in the general direction of Randi’s plot. Sidney found himself looking back longingly at the indentation in the grass where he knew the plaque lay with her name on it, next to the flowers he’d left.

“Yeah, a good friend,” he mumbled, feeling that knot of emotion tightening in his stomach whenever he thought of Randi being gone.

“I was just visiting my Aunt,” Mya was explaining when he turned back to her. “I think I told you about her.” Sidney nodded, vaguely remembering something about that being part of the reason Mya had chosen to finish her education her in Pittsburgh. She was smiling at him but he could see the expectation in her eyes.

He knew she was waiting for him to offer to take her out again but Sidney kept his mouth closed tight, even though he could see that the silence made her uneasy but it was for her own good. She’d only read something into it that wasn’t there. Besides, he had places to be.
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“I ummm have to be at class soon,” she said finally when the silence had gone on so long that she knew she was starting to squirm. He was staring at her like he was staring through her, like he was angry. She should have left him alone, Mya thought to herself. He probably had people interrupting him all the time. She didn’t blame him for being a little miffed. Still, he’d never seemed this...moody before. But that was then, this is now, she reminded herself. This was his turf and she’d butted in like she knew him or something. “So, I guess maybe we’ll run into each other again sometime?” she added, wondering if she sounded too eager, too hopeful.

“Yeah, me too. I mean, I have practice this afternoon so...,” he smiled at her and Mya felt her stomach erupt with butterflies. Damn, he was really as devastatingly handsome as she remembered.

“Well, it’s good to see you survived all that attention with the parades and everything,” she heard herself saying and immediately bit down on her tongue before she said anything else idiotic. Where had that come from?

“Yeah...yeah I did,” he laughed and his entire face lit up. She loved the lines around his eyes. Laugh lines. They told the story of the young man she’d met back in P.E.I., the carefree funny young man with the dimples. She couldn’t help but trace those lines with her eyes now, her gaze naturally following those lines down to his dimples, to the lines around his mouth, those soft pink lips.

“Hey Princess, time for me to get back work.” Steve’s hand was suddenly on her shoulder, making her jump. She’d completely forgotten that he’d been waiting for her.

“Yeah...coming,” she rolled her eyes at Sidney and he grinned back at her, though she was almost sure that he has shot Steve an unwelcoming look. Telling herself she was only seeing things, Mya forced herself to turn around and follow Steve to the car. After all, if he’d been interested he would have called. Hell, if he was at all interested he’d have asked her out now, but he hadn’t. What more evidence did she need she asked herself as she slid into the passenger seat and tucked her leg inside before Steve pushed the door shut.

And yet he was still standing where they’d left him, she noticed, as the car rolled slowly along the drive and it seemed like he was watching them drive away. It had to be her imagination she decided. Only her overactive imagination could have the very handsome, incredibly talented and filthy rich Sidney Crosby staring longingly after her. She’d read too many Jane Austen novels lately.

He may be the Lord of the Manor, with Pittsburgh being his massive estate, and a little like Mr. Darcy with his dark moody exterior, but she was no Elizabeth Bennett. He was not going to save her from her sad, lonely little life, her tiny apartment and lift her into the life of fame and fortune. That was a story and this was real life.

“Who was that you were talking to?” Steve asked, turning the car onto the side street. Mya smiled to herself. Steve was such an NFL and NASCAR kind of a guy.

“Just a guy from Canada I know. You know we all know each other right? I mean we share sled dogs and go from igloo to igloo,” she added with a grin. Steve shot her a tired sort of disapproving parental look that made her laugh.

“I was just asking a question My, no need to go all snarky on my ass.”
“Sorry, it was just too easy. Do you want to dump me off downtown? I can take a taxi to work from there. I don’t want you going out of your way. I mean, you’re probably already late for work.” Steve nodded and Mya turned her attention to the passing scenery.

Maybe it was just a day dream, Mya mused, but it was a nice dream all the same.